Restitution
by The Silver Feathered Raven
Summary: Their lives belong to their village and there is little room for anything else. So they'll keep falling, and laughing, and stumbling along, because that's all they can do. Eventual GenmaxShizune, Shizune centric, featuring minor characters.
1. Returning

Chapter 1:

Returning  


Of all the things that she had thought she would feel when she returned home, fear had never been one of them. But standing behind Tsunade as the woman looked out over the village, Shizune's gut was twisted with a deep seated apprehension, almost a terror, about being in Konoha once more, and the more she thought about it, the more she wished that she was still out on the road with her mentor.

It wasn't as though she didn't want to be home; the thought of it was what had kept her going over the last eight years. However, the thinking was one thing. Actually returning, seeing the once familiar walls and shops, the faces of her friends and remaining family, was another thing entirely. And it wasn't simply seeing all her companions again—she could easily deal with the changes in them—but the _not seeing_ of them. If she were asked, she was certain that it was the learning of who had not survived the last years that frightened her the most. She was a medic-nin, one used to death, but she was still human; it would hurt her to find out that those she once laughed with and fought beside were dead.

She would get by, of course. She had to. Tsunade had already confided in her that she would need Shizune, need the levelheadedness and reason that the kunoichi possessed to help her as she took on the mantle of the Hokage. Shizune was certain that Tsunade would need her help. Despite how able a ninja Tsunade was, how aptly suited to the title of Hokage she was, the two woman had worked as a team for many years. Even before Tsunade had said anything to her, Shizune had already assumed that she would help the older woman in her new position, that she would be her adviser, or helper, or something of that sort, and as such she couldn't crumple at the news of someone's death; someone who, for all she knew, had died years before.

She also reasoned that not knowing someone for eight years would help to soften the blow dealt to her when she was told—if she were told, if someone had died.

Shizune wondered about the reactions she would receive when her old friends learned that she had returned. Most didn't know why she had left, or who she had left with, as she had never had a chance to tell them. Hadn't been able to tell them, to put it more accurately. Following Tsunade, watching over her, making sure that she would one day return to Konoha, it had been a mission. An Anbu mission at that. She hadn't been allowed to tell them; they hadn't been authorized to know. As far as she knew, only Genma and Raidou actually knew the barest details about her disappearance, and only if they had found the letters she had slipped into their lockers at the Anbu headquarters. She was certain they had found them; there was no way that they couldn't have. But even those letters wouldn't have told them much, just that she had been sent on an extended mission and that she didn't know when she would be returning. It was possible that they had been able to put two and two together and realize that she had left with Tsunade. After all, the disappearances had coincided with one another, and those men weren't idiots, though Shizune remembered teasing them about lacking common sense a time or two. So maybe there were a few people who would understand why she had left, at least to an extent. But she couldn't be certain of the others accepting that she had been gone for so long with out a single word; she wasn't even sure her two Anbu teammates would accept her return warmly.

So, she was frightened, but she tried to quell the fear as she waited for Tsunade. The blond woman, soon to be formally inducted as the fifth Hokage of Konoha, stood at the edge of the roof, gripping the railing as she reacquainted herself with the village that she would be ruling. Shizune knew that her teacher was taking in as many of the changes as she could, the most obvious being the abundance of human activity and the buildings that covered the landscape. Eight years had been enough to change their home from a war stricken village on the edge annihilation to a thriving realm, large enough now that it could be called a city. The walls had been rebuilt, taller and stronger than they had ever been. They had been one of the first things that Shizune had noticed, white and almost gleaming in the noon sun, no longer crushed in places, the gate once more in place, barely showing the ravages of the war with Cloud or the attack of the Kyuubi.

"This village has changed quite a bit quite a bit while I was gone," she heard Tsunade say, and Shizune agreed with her entirely. Then the woman straightened, one hand falling to her side. "Starting today," she began, in a voice loud enough for all those on the roof to hear, "this village becomes my responsibility. I accept the position of the Hokage."

Shizune glanced over to were the members of the council stood. There was the thought, way back in her mind, that after seeing Tsunade once more they would decide that another was appropriate for the position of the Hokage. However, Homura and Koharu simply nodded, smiles that looked to be of relief on their faces.

"I'm amazed you were able to persuade her." The smile left Homura's face as it melted back into a stoic mask. His words were directed at Jiraiya, and Shizune could detect a thread of disbelief in his voice. Knowing Jiraiya, as well as Tsunade's original reasons for leaving the village, she was surprised herself. Though, she did know that it was more Naruto's doing than anyone else's that Tsunade had agreed to come back.

However, Jiraiya's response to Homura was a bit too loud, and a bit overconfident, especially as he _knew_ that bring Tsunade back hadn't really been his doing. "Ha! A handsome devil like myself only needs his charm to persuade anyone!"

It was all Shizune could do to keep from laughing. It was just so...so _Jiraiya_ that it was amusing. He'd been like that for as long as she could remember, always with the quick remarks and the lighthearted words. He was only acting like that at the moment because...well, because he was Jiraiya, and that was how he worked. However, as much as she wanted to laugh, she also wanted to tell him to shut his mouth; he being quite disruptive, and was showing himself to be an idiot. After all, this moment was for Tsunade, not for him.

Koharu seemed to be thinking along the same lines. While she didn't tell the white haired man to be quiet, or kick him—another thing that Shizune wouldn't mind doing, though there wasn't a chance that she would—she effectively turned all talk away from him, bringing things back to the matter at hand. "If you accept the position, Tsunade, then let us gather the local lords and celebrate the inauguration of the fifth Hokage." There was a certain amount of relief evident on the advisor's face as Tsunade gave a curt nod of her head. "Genma. Aoba." There was a blurring in the air, the lighting quick movement of human bodies, and the two men dropped down beside those already assembled.

Shizune nearly missed Koharu's next words, her orders to them, because she had effectively frozen when both names had been spoken. It was far too early. Far, far too early. Even if she had already been back for two hours, it was too soon for her to be seeing them. Her eyes darted to the side, but she didn't move her head; she simply looked at them as they stood there.

Aoba was taller now, much taller than he had been the last time she saw him. From her angle, it looked as though he had finally surpassed Genma when it came to height, though she couldn't be sure. His hair was more unruly now, an almost welcome change from their childhood, when he had been too uptight and immaculately groomed. Her eyes narrowed slightly at the glasses that adorned his face, another change. The glass completely shaded his eyes and gave her cause to wonder exactly _why_ he wore them. In fact, he had changed so much that, if she hadn't known that the man standing next to him was Genma, she wouldn't have known who he was.

Genma was still Genma, though his brown hair was longer. The senbon was still there, clamped firmly between his teeth; it looked as though he hadn't gotten over the habit he had picked up at a teenager. The backwards forehead protector remained as well; it looked as though Genma had changed as little as Aoba had much. Opposite sides of a coin, as the two boys from her genin team had always been.

She didn't see either of them look toward her, but she was certain they knew that she was there, though if they were able to recognize her as their former teammate was another matter. She had changed quite a bit herself.

Slowly, her tense muscles relaxed as she calmed both her body and her mind. Yes, she had seen them both before she had intended to. No, there wouldn't be a confrontation here. It was too public at the moment, with two of the Sannin, two of the the advisers, and a genin around—though she had no doubt that Aoba would be fairly angry with her whenever they did get a chance to talk. They had worked together for almost seven years, had become friends over that time, and she hadn't even told him that she was leaving. She really couldn't blame him if he decided to yell at her.

"--to the village that the Hokage has been chosen." Koharu's voice broke through her thoughts, and her mind snapped back to the current situation. She saw both of the men nod as they heard their instructions, answering with a uniform _understood_, and then they were both gone, moving away, heading out into the village, leaving her field of vision in an instant. Shizune let out a shaking breath, one she hadn't been conscious of holding, and let her eyes close for a moment.

So. They were both alive.

There was an outburst to her side, and her eyes snapped open, focusing on the orange clad boy as he jumped forward, his arms moving wildly as he sought to gain their attention. "Wait up!" he all but shouted, as though afraid that speaking any quieter would cause him to be overlooked. "Tsunade's got some stuff to take care of first! She can't go to any inauguration until she's fixed up Sasuke and Kakashi-sen--"

It was Jiraiya who quieted the kid, pushing his head down with one of his large hands and cutting off Naruto's voice. "Sure. We've got to take care of that brat Kakashi, Uchiha's kid, and Gai's student, don't we?"

"I can't see you taking care of anything, Jiraiya," Tsunade said with a smile, reclining back against the railing. "Let alone three injured ninja. You'll screw things up it you try to do anything to help."

Jiraiya's free hand flew to his chest as he faked an exaggerated wince of pain. "You're words cut deeply, Tsunade. How could anyone be so--"

"We do have some things to take care of in the hospital," Shizune said, ignoring Jiraiya as he continued to speak, turning to the advisers. They were becoming irritated, something which Shizune wanted to avoid. "It will take some time, but Tsunade will be ready when you need her."

Homura looked very pleased that at least one person was still taking things seriously. "It will take several days to make preparations; we will send for her then. We understand the importance of taking care of the wounded. We are also finished here; you are all free to go."

"Thank you." Shizune bowed, then waited as the advisers moved away before turning to the others. Naruto had wriggled his way out from under Jiraiya's hand and was currently shouting at the shinobi, while Tsunade stood by, smiling in amusement.

"Naruto," Shizune began, loud enough that the genin noticed and quieted. "Can you lead us to the hospital?"

Naruto nodded furiously, pointing off to the left, at a white building several stories high. Shizune glanced at it with an appraising look; it had been rebuilt, and from the outside it looked to be far grander than she had ever seen it.

By the time that they made it inside it, Shizune had also realized that it was far better equipped, much better organized. Clean, structured, complete, not the crumbling ruin that it had been during the latter half of the war.

_--the door split, sending splinters of wood flying into the room. The force of the blast that destroyed it pushed Shizune backwards, though she was already moving in that direction, moving to shield the body of an injured man where he lay behind her. The wood broke across her back, pieces embedding themselves in the tough fabric of her vest, but her movement saved the man from any more damage. She reached out and grasped a surgical needle between her fingers; her body twisted around and let it fly, only moments before she felt hands grip her wrists, forcing her backwards, bashing her into the cabinets, knocking her head hard enough against the surface to--_

Shizune squeezed her eyes shut, pushing back the unwanted memory. Several deep breaths calmed the sudden racing of her heart that had come with the memories of that attack. This hospital was not that one; Konoha was not under attack. She clung to that thought and focused once more.

The receptionist at the front desk looked up with a smile as they entered, though Shizune noted how her eyes hardened when they glanced over Naruto. It was a bit disconcerting, though it wasn't all that noticeable—something just barely there, just a flicker across the woman's eyes—and Shizune had been apprehensive when she first saw the boy, knowing what he carried within him, but talking with the boy had wiped almost all of that away; Naruto was Naruto, and the Kyuubi was an unfortunate piece of him that the boy was forced to live with. She couldn't say that she didn't resent him at all; she had been there when the demon fox had attacked, and had lost most of her remaining family at the time—her mother hadn't been a ninja, and there had been no time for her to evacuate from the village—but Shizune's mind told her that it was the fox she hated, not Naruto. She only hoped the boy understood that.

As Tsunade spoke quietly to the woman behind the desk, telling her who they were, why they were here, as well as asking for the files on the particular patients, Shizune glanced at the badge that sported the woman's name. Kaori. She dimly remembered the girl; she was three or four years younger than herself, a rather quiet person with a ready smile and a minor grasp on healing. However, that was what Kaori had been like when Shizune had first met her, and that had been over ten years ago.

Kaori handed Tsunade several files, two that were rather thin, and a third that contained what looked to be years of medical reports. Kakashi's, she reasoned, knowing the sort of missions he had taken when he was younger and the sort he was still likely to take. She knew the file didn't hold any of those from his Anbu years; those were stashed away with Anbu headquarters, only the briefest outline of major injuries present in the public hospital's records.

Tsunade flipped through the files, nodded several times in thought, then handed them to Shizune. The black haired woman tucked them under her arm; Tsunade would read them more thoroughly when they arrived at the rooms of the patients.

"Thank you," Tsunade said to the receptionist as she received the numbers of the rooms where they needed to go. Then the short woman spun on her heels, heading off into the hallway. Shizune followed behind her, Tonton trotting along beside her. There was no place for them to leave the pig, and it had simply become natural to have her travel with them wherever they went. As it was, Tonton had some trouble with stairs, so as they climbed to the second story Shizune reached down and scoop the pig up, holding her with one arm. As soon as they reached the landing, however, she set her back on the ground and began to look through the files.

"Tsunade-sama," she began, opening one of the thinner files, "which of them are we going to look at first?"

"Uchiha Sasuke." Tsunade paused in her stride, glancing back at Shizune. "I take it you're looking at the reports?"

Shizune nodded, ruffling through the papers clipped together inside of the file. She found the newest one and scanned it quickly. "No physical injuries remaining; mental and emotional trauma. He's been unconscious since he was brought in several months ago." Her brow furrowed as she reread the paper. There wasn't much detail as to how he had been brought to this state, only a general outline of his current state. It could create a potential problem; not knowing what had happened. However, Tsunade would still be able to help him, that Shizune was sure of. The boy had most likely fallen into a coma to help his mind recover from whatever had happened; while it would take some delicate work, Tsunade would be able to bring him back to consciousness. The hardest part would be making sure that no further damage to the brain was inflicted during healing, but this sort of injury was the type that Tsunade had dealt with the most over the past years; due to the blond woman's hemophobia, Shizune had been the one to deal with any bloody incidences that had risen. _This healing shouldn't be any problem_, she thought, watching as Tsunade pushed open one of the doors that lined the hall, letting herself inside. The rest of them followed her, Naruto moving himself forward, apparently anxious for her to fix up his teammate—if his near constant demanding for her to do exactly that was any indication.

Tsunade moved a heavy curtain to the side, exposing the area in which the boy was being kept. The first thing that Shizune noticed was that someone else was in the room; not a nurse or medic, but a small girl dressed in red, her head and shoulders slumped as she sat beside the bed. As they entered, she turned to look at them, her eyes widening. Shizune saw the girl's mouth form words—_who are you?_--but her voice was almost too quiet for her to hear, with an edge of fear, hope, and defeat all evident on her face and in her whispered words.

At that moment, Naruto darted out from behind Tsunade, smiling, noisy, boisterous. "Sakura-chan!" His voice was too loud for the small room, and yet it was oddly fitting. "He'll be alright now! She's a great doctor!"

The girl's—Sakura's—eyes went even wider, and her lower lip trembled, twitching as though she weren't sure whether to smile or to cry. "Naruto!" she said in surprise, her voice a little stronger, and at the expression on the boy's face her lips finally pulled themselves into a smile, her eyes brightening. Sakura rose from her seat beside the Uchiha's bed, turning and bowing to Tsunade, her eyes focused on the floor. "I-I heard from Gai-sensei...please. Please help Sasuke-kun. Please." There was still a quaver in her voice, as though she were fighting back tears.

Shizune couldn't fault her when she started crying as Tsunade rested her hand on the Uchiha's forehead and began the healing. She knew that sense of relief mingled with fear; she had felt it enough. Before she had become a medical ninja, before she could do more than simply bandage and stitch wounds, Shizune had felt that way. Many times, because of her stupid, stupid teammates and their stupid, stupid stunts. Because of their insistence to save her when she was in no need of saving.

Those were the times when Genma or Aoba would get themselves hurt, and she would feel guilty, because she was able to realize that, as the youngest member of their team, they thought it was their obligation to defend her. And it wasn't even as though she were helpless. Her uncle had taught her since she was very young, whenever he had a spare moment, and her genin team's teacher hadn't made any special exceptions for her; he had even told her that if she didn't pull her own weight on the team, that he would send her back to the academy. Even as a nine year old, she had taken that threat seriously, and hadn't allowed herself to fall behind the boys—if anything, she had even surpassed them at certain points. But, being young, idiot boys of ten, Genma and Aoba had still thought that she needed protecting. Until their sensei gave them several stern lectures and threatened to send _them_ back to the academy.

_It is fine to be close with your teammates; in fact, there are some situations in which the bond within a team is more important than anything else. But if the two of you continue to alienate Shizune--_

_We're not alienating her!_

_If you continue to alienate Shizune and downplay her potential, then I will send you _both_ back to the academy, while Shizune will continue missions with me. Is that clear?_

Thinking back now, Shizune understood how perfect their sensei's word choice had been. The threat of losing their status of genin, as well as the knowledge that their female teammate would still be out there, without them, was enough for them to give her some breathing room and follow their teacher's orders.

Now, watching the young girl, she saw the fascination evident on her face as Sakura observed the process of healing. Her eyes were fixed on Tsunade's hand, where the soft glow of chakra surrounded it, brushing lightly against against the boy's face and illuminating his pale features. It took several minutes, as Tsunade sorted through the various pathways in the Uchiha's body, smoothing them, untangling them, repairing them. As the light died away, Shizune saw Sasuke's face twitch, the muscles spasming beneath his skin.

Tsunade turned from the completed task, smiling kindly at the pink haired girl who continued to watch her. "He'll be waking up soon."

Sakura drew in a shaking breath, wiping furiously at the tears that stained her face. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Tsunade stepped back as the boy began to stir on the bed. She moved to where Shizune and Jiraiya still stood, looking to each of them in turn. "I'll take a look at Kakashi next. Jiraiya, I'm sure you're going to want to see him as well. Shizune," she turned, looking directly into the dark haired woman's eyes, "stay here and check over Uchiha Sasuke completely. After you are done, I want you to preform the same check on Kakashi."

Shizune inclined her head. "Understood. But...Tsunade-sama, when I am done I have a few things of my own that I need to take care of."

Tsunade turned her head to the side, her eyes narrowing slightly. Finally, she nodded. "Whatever you need to do. Just get back here at some point."

"Of course." Their attention turned back to the three genin, as Sasuke awoke, disoriented, then found himself being embraced by a once more crying Sakura. There was confusion on his face, and he raised a shaking hand to her shoulder, whether to push her away or hug her in return, Shizune didn't know. But he eventually let his hand drop back by his side.

It was Naruto's face which was the most expressive, shock darting across it when Sakura practically threw herself on the Uchiha, and then it settle into a sad smile before he turned away, exiting from the room.

It was saddening, the way that his face fell and then was picked up again, but it also showed Shizune a side of the boy that wasn't loud and rambunctious, or obsessively determined. Here was a kid who showed at least a shred of common sense.

She took care of the Uchiha, answering a few questions that Sakura asked, about how the medical techniques worked and the such, before warning Sasuke that his muscles would need to be retrained before he would be fully functional again. He gave her a cold look, which she returned with an emotionless one. After working with the injured for the greater part of her life, Shizune was used to glares and indignant comments that came when someone heard something they didn't like. She repeated herself once more, then excused herself from the room.

It didn't take her long to make her way to Kakashi's room. She knocked lightly on the door, then let herself in. Tsunade and Jiraiya were already gone, and Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

Kakashi lay on his back on the hospital cot, the sheets crumpled around his waist, one hand tucked under his head and the other holding up a garishly colored book before his face. He glanced toward her as she entered the room. "Hey, it's Shizune," he said after a moment of watching her, closing the book and sitting up.

"Hey, it's Kakashi," she responded, smiling at him. "Good to see that you aren't dead."

"Aren't we all." He ran a hand over his left eye, shutting his right one tightly as he did so. "So I guess you're still alive, too."

"As alive as you are." She sat down on the edge of the bed, gently pulling his hand away from his face. "Here, let me see at that; Tsunade told me to look you over and make sure that you're alright. I'm guessing you want to get out of here as quickly as possible." She gathered chakra into the palm of her hand, pressing it over his eye. The energy trailed from her skin through his, following the veins, muscles, and chakra paths in the left side of his face. She frowned. "Did Tsunade already heal your eye?"

She felt him nod. "She did. There wasn't much relief, though. Why?" His voice dropped, and he watched her through his half-lidded.

Shizune's frown deepened as she continued to let her chakra run through the Sharingan. "How did you end up in the hospital, Kakashi?"

He sighed, as though it were some sort of annoyance to answer. "I ran into Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame from Mist."

His words left Shizune even more confused than before, and she let her concentration split between assessing the damage in Kakashi's eye and listening to him. "Uchiha Itachi? Mikoto's son? Why would he attack you, and what was he doing with Hoshigaki?" She knew of the shark-like missing-nin; she had heard his name several times in her early Anbu years. He was supposedly incredibly dangerous; what would an Uchiha be doing with him?

Kakashi reached up, grasping her wrist and pulling her hand away from his face. "Shizune, they're all dead. Every single Uchiha, except for Itachi and Sasuke."

Her mouth went dry and her hand dropped limply to her side. "W-what?"

Kakashi looked away from her. "You weren't around, so you wouldn't know. Itachi killed them. Every single one of them."

"Except for Sasuke?" Her throat was constricting. She had expected to hear about the deaths of people she had known, but an entire clan being wiped out by one person? It was...it was unbelievable. Except that Kakashi wouldn't joke about something like this; he wasn't that sort of person. "Was there anyone else left? Anyone at all?"

Kakashi shook his head, slowly. "No. Not that we know of. There could be one or two out there, somewhere, but the possibility is incredibly low. Itachi was very...thorough."

The way he said it, so calm and factually, made her stomach churn. She'd known a few of the Uchiha; one of them had been in her class during her academy years, and she had worked with several during the war. To think that they were _all_ gone...

"Thank you for telling me," she said softly, then offered him a weak smile. "I shouldn't ask about anyone else, should I?"

"Probably not."

Shizune took a deep breath, then brought her hand up to his eye again. From one point of contact, she was able to assess his entire body; there was nothing wrong with him, except for the...chaos, she supposed she could say, that started from his Sharingan and spiraled out over the entire left side of his face. Pursing her lips, Shizune allowed several threads of chakra to attach themselves at the farthest out points of damage that she could find. From there, she worked her way inwards, mending what she could. After a few moments, she removed her hand. "Kakashi."

He looked at her, the eye that contained the Sharingan closed. "Yes?"

"Activate your eye. I need to see something."

He did so, then deactivated it when she asked him to. Frowning again, Shizune reexamined him. Her healing hadn't held very well; most of it had returned after he had used the Sharingan. She repeated the experiment, to the same result.

"Well," she said finally, letting both her hands rest in her lap. "I'm afraid I can't fix your eye entirely at the moment. I'll talk to Tsunade later; I'm assuming that she also understands the situation. We will have to set up a series of appointments so that we can completely repair the damage done. Until then, I would strongly caution you to use your Sharingan as _little_ as possible. At the moment, every time that you use it, some of the healing is undone. I don't know if this was caused by your confrontation with Itachi—did he use his own Sharingan on you?" Kakashi nodded and a thoughtful look came over Shizune's face. "You've never used yours on anyone else with this bloodline trait, have you?"

"There hasn't really been a chance."

Shizune folded her hands before her, looking at Kakashi intently. "It is entirely possible that using the Sharingan on someone who also possesses the ability will create a degenerative effect on one or both of those involved. Of course, we can't test that theory, seeing as there are only...only two users left in Konoha." She swallowed the lump in her throat and continued. "However, it is a possible explanation for the damage to your eye. Of course, it could also be something that came from the implantation of that eye. I'd have to ask Rin about that--" Her voice broke off when she saw the way that Kakashi stilled, his entire body tensing. It had come about as soon as she mentioned Rin's name; it seemed she was a topic that he neither wanted to discuss or hear about. "I can look into," she began again, trying to keep her voice strong. "I will talk with Tsunade, and we will figure something out. All right?"

Kakashi nodded, his body relaxing slightly as Shizune didn't ask anything about Rin. "Good. Now, when can I get out of here?"

Shizune glanced down at the his file. "Nothing else seems to be wrong with you; as long as you don't use your eye, I think you are free to go. Of course, it's not as though I have any authority here, so I'll send someone up to clear you." She rose, smoothing out her robes with one hand and picking up the stack of files with the other. "It's good to see you again."

"You too," he said, laying back down and picking up his book. "By the way, your old teammates are still alive."

Smiling, Shizune headed to the door. "I know; I already saw Genma and Aoba."

Without looking up, Kakashi waved to her. "Raidou, too. He's still alive and kicking."

Her smile grew larger, and she left the room with a heart that was just a bit lighter than it had been moments before.

* * *

A/N: The first chapter of this is finally finished; my GenmaxShizune story that has been brewing in my mind for about a month or two now. There are a few things to expect from me with this story; long chapters with, most likely, a few weeks between posts, development of minor characters, bloody fight sequences, a general adhesion to canon, little to no OC's, a range of emotions explored, a slow development of romance, and my acceptance of critique. If you find grammar/spelling errors in any of this story (or in any of my stories, for that matter), please, feel free to point them out. Also, if you feel that something isn't explained well enough, tell me as well, and I will either explain it or fix it. 

Please note that this is my version of Shizune; the backstory is of my creation. I hope you enjoyed this.

A word of thanks to **nimblnymph**, for kicking me until I got this written, as well as declaring that I can write romance. Also, to spell check, who wanted me to change Uchiha to Chihuahua and Sasuke to Pleasure. It provided enough amusement to get me writing.

No real Genma yet, but he'll show up. Very soon.

Raven


	2. Renewal

Chapter 2:

Renewal 

Since the age of sixteen, Anbu had been a major part of Shizune's life. A constant, really, because the last eight years had all been for the organization. And when she really thought about it, Anbu had been with her and influenced her for much longer. As a child, she had been aware of them, the shadowy presences in the back of rooms and in the dark parts of the streets, though she had never known who or what they were. It wasn't until she was nine and a newly made genin that she learned what they did.

Her sensei was the first person to tell her about them, calling them by their full name and explaining that they handled some of the most delicate and dangerous jobs that were offered. He was also the first person to suggest it to her, as something to do in the future. Shizune remembered how she had initially felt about Anbu; it had intrigued her and disgusted her at the same time. Her team's teacher had always been a blunt man, and when he told them about the sort of things that happened in Anbu...Shizune had shaken her head, saying that she never wanted to join. She had been disappointed in Aoba and Genma, having seen the way that their eyes lit up at the idea of the entire thing. It was strange how, in the end, Aoba never made his way into the organization, and she ended up sinking so far into it that she doubted she would every be able to fully remove herself from it. Anbu was one of those things that was hard to shake, hard to get out of. Her sensei had warned her, as had so many of the older shinobi.

_It's probably too late to get out,_ she thought as she slipped into the Anbu headquarters. _They'll most likely hand me several new missions the second I hand in the report for this one._ She didn't exactly feel like heading out and participating in a mission, but she knew that, one way or another, she would most likely end up doing just that in the next few days. She was a jounin, after all, and with the apparent turmoil that the village was in she knew that there would be a shortage of ninja to complete all of the tasks that needed to be done. The feeling that she received from the village was similar to how it had been after the numerous attacks during the war, though it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been then.

Headquarters was still very similar to how it had been; the halls and passageways were more or less the same, bright lights lining the walls, the same twists and turns, the same doorways. A few places looked as though they had been added more recently, but for the most part it was the same. She was able to find her way to the locker rooms easily, slipping a black coat over her shoulders and a white mask over her head. Both cloaked her identity, allowing her to walk through the building without anyone knowing who she was.

It was one of the unwritten rules that all the operatives followed; one was to hide their identity while at headquarters. It was near impossible to keep one's face hidden during an extended mission. Something as simple as eating made it so that a mask had to be removed, if only for a short period of time, and there were often times missions in which is was not in the best interest of the operative or team to remain in Anbu gear. With the exception of the locker rooms and the medical facility, however, no one ever saw another's face while in headquarters. Even names were kept secret, everyone called by what mask they wore. Hound, cat, bird, or, in Shizune's case, simply _medic_. Hers was the mask of a medical ninja, smooth wood shaped into the head of some long snouted predatory creature, painted bone white. In contrast with every other mask, a medic's lacked any color _but_ white. No blues, no reds, nothing to draw the eye, only carved wood and white paint. It was what distinguished the Konoha medical Anbu from the rest.

Leaving the locker room, Shizune wound her way through the building until she came to a rather undistinguished door, marked only with a few characters along one side of the frame. It was a precaution, to keep the head of Anbu's office from being as noticeable, to keep an intruder from finding it within an instant of stepping into the building. Unless things had changed drastically since Shizune's first days in Anbu, this was where she needed to go to report in, to fully complete her mission.

Opening the door softly and closing it gently behind her, Shizune stepped into a room that was just as drab as the door that guarded it. There were few lights; an old buzzing one that flickered overhead, and a smaller one sitting on a well worn desk. A few bookcases lined the walls, stuffed full of scrolls and battered tomes, slanted this way and that, pages poking out of them. There was also a piece of electronic equipment; a radio used to pick up the signals of the smaller counterparts worn by ninja in the village. It crackled at the moment, static pouring from the side. Behind the desk sat a man, his face covered in a mask, staring down at a pile of papers before him.

As she stopped in the center of the room, the flickering light from the hanging lamp dancing over her mask, the man before her did nothing more than push one paper to the side and pick up another. For all appearances, it was as though he hadn't noticed her entrance at all. Shizune knew it to be quite the opposite. Were she to shift her weight, he would notice.

He was a wiry man, the lack of armor showing his lean frame. The only skin showing was at his shoulders and at the tips of his ears where they poked out from behind the mask. The former showed his swirling red tattoo and a collection of puckering scars that pulled taut over muscle as his arm moved. His hair was longer than her own, black streaked with grey, caught back at the nape of his neck. His mask was perhaps the most animated, interesting thing about him. It was elongated, flaring nostrils carved over a wicked, curved mouth, the eyes dark and slanted, ears forward and alert. Red paint was slashed across both eyes, from the top of the mask to where the man's chin was. There was a rugged, unfinished look to the mask, the paint splattered in places, the outer most portions of wood looking as though they had never been sanded after they had been cut. The full effect was striking; where it might have looked as though a child had made it, it came off looking wild and animalistic.

"Medic." His voice was sharp and commanding, inadvertently causing Shizune's body to straighten further. Though she couldn't see them and though there had been no change in how his head was angled, she could feel his eyes on her.

When she first joined, a look from the head of Anbu had sent shivers down her spine. Now, she simply stood in place, waiting for the rest of his words.

"Report."

"Mission completed successfully," she began, her own words crisp and clean. "The Sannin Tsunade has been returned to Konoha safely." She reached into one of the pockets of her black coat, retrieving a thick stack of papers. She took one step forward, placing the mission report—_eight years worth of it!_--on the desk before him, then moving back to her previous position.

"Complications?" the man asked, not touching the report. Shizune jerked her head down once in response.

"Several. All have been detailed thoroughly in the mission report." _Eight years worth,_ she was tempted to say, but didn't. There was no sympathy for her here, and in all honesty she didn't and wouldn't want it. "The most notable was a confrontation with the Sannin and missing-nin, Orochimaru." At the name, the Anbu straightened, the only indication of emotion that he had shown, and even then it didn't reveal much of anything at all. "I regret to inform you that he was not captured or killed. However, he appears to be suffering from a jutsu that has cut all chakra off from his arms; he is now, apparently, unable to manipulate chakra at all. He was helped by a medical ninja using the name of Kabuto who is incredibly talented in that area of chakra manipulation. The entire meeting resulted in the retreat of Orochimaru and his subordinate; it is uncertain about their current conditions." She paused for a moment, waiting for the Anbu to as any other questions.

The man pulled her mission report to him, opening it. "All that's in here?"

"Yes." She waited as he turned a few of the pages. "It was the biggest conflict that occurred, though there are several others that..." She paused, trying to figure out how to word things. "There were several occurrences that should be taken note of as well."

The man nodded slowly, then closed the notebook and pushed it away. "Well, you've brought some very useful information. Up to this point, there was no reliable sources to tell us of Orochimaru's condition. Now, before you are dismissed, there are a few other things that we need to discuss."

"Such as..."

"Such as your continuing service in Anbu." The man picked up a thick folder that lay before him on the desk, flipping it open. "Not counting the last eight years, you've served us for four years. Altogether, twelve years." The smallest movement of his head told her that he was looking at her again. "At this moment, your skills are crucial to Konoha. There is an overall shortage of skilled medics, and Anbu is no exception. I'm afraid that I cannot allow you to leave Anbu."

She hadn't expected them to let her go. But--

"However," he continued, still watching her through his mask, "keeping you on active duty is not an option either. I am well aware of your connection with Tsunade, and it would be beneficial to all, I believe, if you were to remain in the position of her assistant. You will be off duty for now, but we will send for you when a mission suiting your abilities comes up. For now, it would be best for you to serve as a regular jounin."

"Understood."

The man closed the files and stacked them neatly on the corner of his desk. As he did so, the static increased over the radio, popping and cracking, and then a voice became audible over the rest of the sounds.

"_Returning to headquarters...two wounded...requesting medical assistance immediately!"_

The man's eyes snapped to hers, even through the masks she knew that. "What do you say to a job right now?"

Shizune felt a small smile curve her lips, and she nodded. "I'll head down right now."

"Good. Dismissed."

* * *

It felt good, she decided as she washed blood off of her arms, to be needed again. That wasn't to say that she hadn't been needed at all over the past eight years, but she had been needed in a different way; as a friend, as support, as the voice of reason. But she had missed being needed to keep lives from drifting away. Of course, there had been several points where she had utilized her medical skills, but with the exception of the fight with Orochimaru, none of them had been incredibly severe, none of them had been as life threatening as... 

It just felt good to be back in a uniform of sorts, hidden behind a pale mask, up to her elbows in blood. As morbid as it sounded, Shizune had enjoyed healing the two Anbu, had enjoyed watching the blood _stop_.

Upon arriving on the Anbu training grounds, she had found three men. One, though covered almost entirely in blood, was not injured, though he supported a companion whose leg was mangled and whose mask sported several deep gouges across it. He had been breathing heavily, had been leaning against the other man, no longer able to use his leg. The third man's left arm was broken; the lower portion dangling at at odd angle, the arm guard missing entirely.

Dealing with the wounded had been...exhilarating. Removing the bandages on the man's leg, cleaning the wound, reknitting the flesh and muscle with threads of chakra, her hands steady as she completed all of it. Stabilizing the man's head, removing his mask and cleaning away blood, checking for internal damage, it was all something that she had missed.

In the end, she only dealt with the first few minutes of the healing. As soon as most of bleeding had stopped, he had been moved to the medical bay for further treatment. She didn't even help with the other man's arm, though she could have. Still, she noticed how few medics there were. Enough to help both men, and several more waiting for them in the medical facility. Enough for now, but not enough if they were inundated with patients. Nowhere near enough.

Back in the locker rooms, she washed the blood from her arms and rinsed if from the sleeves of her black coat, staining the water red. She waited at the sink for a moment, her elbows resting on the counter, wet hands pushed loosely into her hair, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The white mask stared back at her, though now there was color to it. Small splashes of blood, drying and turning a rusty brown. She breathed in once, then pulled the mask off of her face, dunking it below the stream of water. Her fingers moved, rubbing at the stains until they were washed away with the last remnants of blood.

Both items, the coat and the mask, were stored away in her locker, dripping water onto the rusted metal that lined the bottom. She returned to the mirror, checking her reflection, looking for any blood that could possibly be clinging to her. There was none to be found, only pale skin and black hair and wide eyes that looked back at her from the glass.

With one final glance, she turned and walked out of the room, then out of the building.

The sunlight was beginning to turn the orange color that preceded the sun's setting, though it had not yet sunk near the western horizon. There was no less activity in the streets than there had been earlier in the day, but Shizune noted less children and more shinobi. She didn't recognize any of them; most of them looked much younger than she was by several years, and while she had known several who were younger before, Anbu had cut her off from many of them.

The day had more or less slipped by her, and Shizune decided that her return to Tsunade was in order. She had said that she would be back at some point during the day, and the day was slowing running out. There were several other things that she needed to get done, such as finding accommodations for a prolonged stay in Konoha—meaning an apartment—as well as tracking down where all of her old belongings had ended up. Hopefully, seeing as she had boxed up most of them in the days before she left, they had ended up being stored away...somewhere. If she was lucky, one of her old teammates would have picked it up and stashed it somewhere. If she was lucky, and if one of them had had the nerve to break into her apartment. Which probably meant that either Raidou or Genma had gotten a hold of her stuff.

She did wonder, though, if she would find a place to live. It wasn't as though there were a lack of homes; it looked as though there were rooms over shops, and there were building complexes that rose for several stories that looked to be renting out rooms. She made a mental note of where she was whenever she saw a sign in a window advertising rooms for rent. But finding a place and moving in meant that she would have to have time, something that she could guess she wouldn't have much of in the next weeks and months.

There _was_ always the chance that lodgings had been set away for them since Jiraiya had come to find them. Maybe Anbu—no, probably not. And anything that they put together would only be temporary. She would have to find someplace to rent, preferably something close to both the Hokage's office and Anbu's headquarters.

She wound her way through the crowds, finally finding a more open street, where only a few people lingered. It looked as though it cut through to the building that she needed to return to, and so she quickened her pace, trying to hurry back.

"You know, a letter isn't a very nice way to say goodbye."

Shizune's heart jumped and began to beat faster as the voice sounded from behind her, the blood rushing through her body, leaving her with a very sick, very nervous feeling. This was it; there were only two people she had left letters to, and now--

She turned around, taking a deep breath to do so, her eyes moving upwards to meet those of the taller man. "An accusation isn't a very good way to say hello, Genma."

The long haired man stood there, a sort of half smile on his face as he look at her. She was afraid that she wasn't really smiling either, just watching him through calm eyes, though she could guess that either her cheeks had gone very red or they had gone very pale. She wasn't entirely sure, but the sick feeling in her skin indicated the latter. But there he was, and there she was, standing in the middle of a street, meeting for the first time in so many, many years. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Not a happy, joyous meeting. There were no tears, no surprised expressions, just a calm acceptance from both. She hadn't really expected anything different. Not from Genma.

"It sounded better in my head." He took the senbon from between his lips, holding it in his fingers like someone would a cigarette. "Welcome home, Shizune."

She let herself smile at that, tight lipped and a little strained, but still a smile. "Thank you. It's good to see you again. And sorry about the letter," she added, letting amusement trickle into her voice. "I forgot that you didn't know how to read."

Genma's eyes narrowed slightly, but she saw his mouth quirk into a smile as he replaced his senbon. "Haven't lost your sense of humor yet?"

Shizune paused for a moment before answering, tilting her head to the side, frowning slightly. "To tell you the honest truth, I think it just came back. I'm thinking that Konoha might be a bad influence on me. Maybe I should leave again." She turned as though to just that, then heard Genma's sigh and stopped. "I see that you've lost _your_ sense of humor."

"Things have happened," he said simply, and she turned around to see that he just standing there, watching her with his hands shoved in his pockets. "A number of particularly nasty things."

Her amusement gone, Shizune cast her eyes to the ground. "I ran into Kakashi. He told me about the Uchiha clan..."

Genma nodded slowly, his eyes trained on his former teammate. "That was one of the...more...one of the worse things. I guess." He chewed on the end of his senbon and Shizune could just hear the soft clicking of bone on metal. "And you know about Sandaime, seeing as you came back with the Godaime."

She nodded, her face nearly emotionless. "Yes, I heard. It's a bit hard to believe, but--" She bit down on the side of her tongue, the look on her face momentarily melting into one of self disgust. "But it isn't really all that--" Letting out a short, angry breath, she looked up at Genma. "We ran into Orochimaru."

Genma's eyebrows rose a fraction of a centimeter. "I take it things didn't go too well?"

Shizune shook her head, sighing heavily. "No, it didn't go well at all. We—I ended up in not the best shape. Not that the entire thing was about me or anything, but at four against only two—and where one of the two was unable to channel chakra—things should have turned out a bit better for us."

"So he's still alive then?"

"Yes." Shizune pushed a strand of hair out of her face, the movement allowing herself something else to concentrate on, if only for a moment. "I wish that we'd been able to do something..." The breath she drew in was deeper as she tried to calm herself; the tone of her voice was becoming a little too bitter for her liking. It was still a very sore spot; how badly she had been beaten. And by someone so much younger than herself! Truth be told, however, had Kabuto not been a medical ninja Shizune would have stood a far better chance, and might have actually won. And if Shizune hadn't spent eight years more or less off duty, then there was a chance that Kabuto wouldn't have been able to touch her at all. Her speed had been one of her best attributes, and it disappointed her how slow she had become.

"Hmm." The clicking of metal again, stirring Shizune from her thoughts. "Well, it's not like you did nothing."

"Really?" Crossing her arms over her chest, she glanced up at him. "All I did was spit needles. And shoot needles."

"Spitting needles isn't a bad thing." The senbon moved from his lips to his fingers again, twirling around. "Quite useful, actually. Any of them hit him?"

"No. And it wasn't really at _him_. It was at his subordinate. He blocked and dodged most of them." _Easily_, she wanted to add, but didn't. No need to tell him that.

"Hmm," Genma said again, though it was more of a sound than a word. "If it's any consolation, the rest of us didn't even get close enough to try to deal with Orochimaru. I ended up in a fight with someone from Sand for awhile...and, well, Raidou didn't even get to fight. Took four kunai to the chest."

Shizune's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly. "And _that's_ suppose to make me feel better?"

Genma shrugged, entirely to calm for her liking. "He's fine now. Couple of bandages, a couple of scars, but he's not dead. So you can stop worrying."

"I'm not _worrying_." Idiot. He was still a complete idiot, just like she remembered. Maybe things hadn't changed all that much. "You're just being...being _impossible!_"

He shrugged again, the corner of his mouth pulled into a smile. "Well, it got your mind off of other things, didn't it?"

She gaped at him for a moment, and then her expression settled into a sort of glare. "You haven't changed much," she finally said.

"You don't seem like you've changed either, but I'm sure you have."

"All right, you're more insightful now." Shizune glanced up at the sky, noting how the sun was beginning to level itself with the tops of the buildings. "Anyway, it's been wonderful to see you again, Genma, but I have--"

"Things to do?" he finished for her, giving her an almost lazy smile. "Yeah, so do I. But—I'll tell you what. A couple of us are getting together at Raidou's place later on tonight. Here—do you have any paper? I'll give you the address. Wait, I've got some." He pulled a scrape of parchment out of a pocket, holding it up. "I guess the question is, do you have a pen?" She happened to have one and handed it to him, then watched as he scrawled out several characters in a messy hand. "Show up if you can. It won't be anything big, but some of your old friends might be there."

"Like Raidou?" She took the paper from him, glancing at it once to make sure that it was legible, then tucked it away into her clothes.

"Seeing as it's his house, I'd say so." Genma handed her back her pen as well, the looked around at the emptying street. "I'd better get going. See you later--"

"Good-bye, Genma," she managed to get out before the man was gone from her sight, probably heading off to do one thing or another. Most likely alerting people to the arrival of the Godaime, as that was what she heard the advisers tell him earlier.

That had been...well, rather pleasant, overall. Not the exact Genma that she remembered from her childhood, but not someone so incredibly different either. He'd had his same sort of humor, though much more toned down than she remembered. He seemed much calmer than she remembered, though that wasn't to say that he had been some loud showoff when he was younger. He'd always been pretty calm about everything, but now he seemed just...entirely too laid back. It was as though nothing phased him at all. Then again, she had most likely appeared outwardly calm as well, even as she could still feel her blood pounding in her ears louder than normal. She took a few deep breaths, willing her heart to slow its beating. So, she could deal with blood pouring out of a mangled leg, but not with meeting an old friend. Wonderful.

She found her way back to the building that housed the Hokage's office and climbed the stairs until she reached the upper floor. Then just a short way till she slipped though the door--

"Ugh." Tsunade sat behind a desk heavily laden with papers. Papers, scrolls, mission reports. The blond looked up as Shizune closed the door behind her. "Shizune! You're late! Come over here and—ugh!" One of her hands was jammed in her hair in irritation. "One day here, and they're already drowning me in paperwork! And look at this—just, look." She thrust several scrolls into Shizune's arms. "Missions. Hundreds and thousands of missions--"

"I'm afraid to tell you that there aren't thousands, Tsunade-sama." Shizune opened one of the scrolls, her eyes running over the contents. "And they're already organized. It's just a matter of assigning people to them."

"Then _here_. Take a look at these, and help me figure this out!" Tsunade shoved several stacks of files at her so violently that one of them fell from the desk, scattering papers all over the floor. "_Shit._"

Shizune was already on her hands and knees, gathering the papers, glancing at them and returning them to the correct folders. "Tsunade-sama, _please_ calm down. Take a few deep breaths. I can—_what are these?_"

"Personnel files," Tsunade said unhappily, leaning heavily on the desk, her head in her hands. "Thousands and thousands of files. Honestly, Shizune--"

"But I don't have the clearance to see these!" Shizune's voice rose a few pitches, and she deposited the pile back onto the desktop.

"I'm the Hokage," Tsunade said firmly, though at the moment she was looking anything but confident. "I'm _giving_ you the clearance. I need your help, if I'm going to sort through this—this _mess_." She picked up a piece of paper, glanced at it, then slammed it down on the desk. "It seems like there are too many missions for the number of active shinobi to handle, and to make everything _so_ much better, some group of unmarked foreign ninja have been conduction periodic raids along the outermost borders. It sounds like some other village is trying to see if we're weak enough to invade." Tsunade's face twisted in disgust and she raked her hands through her hair again, leaving it mussed and tangled. "And to top it all off, the medical facilities here have gone to _hell_."

"Tsunade-sama, please. They aren't all that terrible--"

"There aren't enough medics in this village to deal with all the injured." Shizune could still see the disgust on the older woman's face; it was growing by the moment. "And almost none of them are field medics, which is something that we need as well. They're all fine as medics, in a hospital. But half of them have never seen an actual battle. And the other half are just--" Tsunade looked about ready to start swearing violently, and Shizune found herself needing to calm the woman down.

"Tsunade-sama," she began, trying to keep her voice even and calm, "I'm perfectly capable of preforming field medic work. If I have any spare time, I can work on training a few of the medics here. I will _also_ make time to help you here. There also have to be some other people around who can help with paperwork and devision of the missions; after all, there was no Hokage for several months. There must have been someone who managed everything, and I am certain that you will be able to recruit some other source of help." She took a deep breath, because her voice had steadily been speeding up. "I'm sure you will be able to figure everything out, but these first few weeks might be a little hard. We—we are all going to have to get used to being back here."

"Hm." Tsunade sat up straighter, looking at her assistant. "You're probably right. And just when I was in the mood to start complaining." She started picking through the papers before her again. One scroll she held in front of her eye for almost a minute before she let out an annoyed laugh. "Can you believe this? Some of these mission requests actually specify what rank of ninja they want, and how many. Doesn't matter how easy the mission is, some of these idiots aren't going to be satisfied unless they've got _four or five jounin_ running around doing their bidding. I'm thinking that we'll have to dress a couple of genin up."

"_Tsunade-sama!_" The thought of dressing the younger ninja up was...it was just completely _unacceptable_, but it was something that was also incredibly amusing. She doubted many people would be fooled, because genin tended to act like what they were—genin.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." The look of disgust was gone from her face, replaced by a mildly amused expression. "As tempting as it is..." She picked at the papers again, selecting several and handing them over to Shizune. "If your not going to do anything else, at least take a look at these. Tell me which ones are the most important. I'm sure that some of them are."

They worked in uninterrupted silence for a time, only a few words passing between them. Shizune took it upon herself to sort the papers; somehow, they had become completely disorganized. There were mission reports that needed to be looked at, recorded, and filed away. There were personnel files, many of them which needed to be updated. She stumbled upon the reports from Anbu. They had been tucked away between other papers, and these she kept separated. She found mission requests, checking the scrolls and writing them down if they weren't already recorded. By the time that she finally looked up, Tsunade's eyelids were drooping and the sky outside had changed to black. As she replaced all of the papers in neat piles on the desk, Tsunade's head had slipped from her hands, the woman's eyes closing completely.

Shizune decided to leave her where she was. From experience, she knew that Tsunade did not like to be woken from sleep, and Shizune didn't feel the need to be snapped at. She pulled the Godaime's coat over the sleeping woman's shoulders, then turned and left the room, leaving the lights on in case Tsunade woke and decided to continue working.

It took her awhile to find Raidou's house; the street names had changed over the years, and the entire setup of the village was different from what she remembered. There were more shops, taller buildings, more people. Of course, her memories came from a time when the village had been close to being destroyed completely, and now, even after an invasion, things were still standing and life was still continuing. But she found where he lived, even though she had to stop and ask directions several times. As it turned out, Raidou was living in an apartment complex a little ways past the medical building, showing that she had been walking in the wrong direction for at least ten minutes. It looked to be one of the older buildings, with the uppermost portions looking as though they were more recent additions. She looked at the piece of paper that Genma had given her, using it to help her find Raidou's room. It was on the bottom floor, but she couldn't see any lights through the window. She wondered if there were anyone inside.

Shizune paused outside of the door, checking the slip of paper one last time to make sure that it was the right address. She was nervous once more, her heart pounding within her ribcage. There was a doubt in her mind about several things. The first was as to whether the address that Genma had scrawled out was actually the correct one. The second was as to what sort of greeting she would receive from Raidou.

Though, it didn't really matter in the end. She would have to see him at some point. She'd have to see everyone at some point. And there really was no reason not to see them now.

The number on the door was correct. She raised her hand, knocking lightly and hesitantly on the door.

For a moment, she was afraid that no one was there. Then, her sensitive hearing detected the sound of footsteps on floorboards and her pulse sped up again. Taking a deep breath, she straightened, smoothed her hands over her clothing, and waited.

The door was pulled open, a little too quickly, a little to jerkily, and as it opened red tinted light from within spilled out over the dark street, lighting her face. A man stood in the doorway, one hand bracing himself against the door, the other jambed into his pocket. There was a moment in which neither spoke, where he simply looked at her, where she simply took in the sight of him.

It was...Raidou. At least, she thought it was Raidou. She wasn't entirely sure, because if it _was_ him than he had changed far more than she could have thought. The man that stood before her was similar in build to the Raidou she remembered; very similar, in fact, being taller than herself with long limbs and enough muscle that she could see its definition beneath his shirt. And while this man's hair was the same color, a red-brown that she remembered so well, it was much shorter, though the front still fell almost into his eyes like it always had before. His face was more defined, however, and there were shadows under his eyes and a weary look upon him that she _didn't_ remember. But what was the most different about him, what she had never seen on him before, was the scar that ran from the bridge of his nose, splaying out across his left cheek, down his neck, disappearing under the collar of his shirt. The skin looked as though it had been melted at some point, and in the dim light the white ridges of the scar seemed to stand out all the more. She didn't want to think about what had put it there.

And then he smiled, and it was the same smile that she'd seen on Raidou's face many times before, though it was more twisted as the scars that disfigured his face pulled at the corner of his mouth.

"Hello," he said, leaning against the door frame, one hand holding onto the weathered wood. "Can I help you?"

Same voice, low, with a harsh edge to it. Shizune managed a smile herself, though her hand clenched a little bit tighter around the paper in her hand. "Hello," she responded in kind, still watching him in the light that spilled out from the doorway. There were a few bandages on one arm, stained lightly with rusty splashes of blood, and one that she could see just peeking out at his neck from under his shirt. "Would this be the residence of Namiashi Raidou?"

"It would be, and I would be Raidou." He didn't say anything more, waiting for her response.

She swallowed once, then continued to speak. "Genma told me about a little...get together here tonight--"

"You're Genma's girl?" Raidou asked, turning his head to the side and gazing at her from a new angle. "He's not here yet, but you're welcome to come it. Didn't know he was seeing anyone, though. Haven't seen you around here, either."

_Genma's girl?_ That was something she'd never been called before, but she could see how Raidou might be confused. "I just got back into town," she said simply. "And I'm a little sad that you don't recognize me, Raidou."

Raidou's eyes narrowed and his brow furrowing as he stared at her. His mouth moved as though he were trying to say something, but a few more moments passed before he spoke any words.

"...Shizune?"

Her face broke into a smile. "Yeah," she said softly. "Yeah, I'm back."

It contrasted almost entirely with her meeting with Genma earlier in the day. With a short laugh, Raidou moved forward and pulled her to his chest with one arm. She returned the hug warmly, wrapping her arms around his back. He smelled like blood and sweat.

"Your hair used to be longer," he said as he stepped back, holding her at arms length.

"So did yours. I'd say that it was a good choice to cut it." She allowed a smile to grow on her face, and watched as he let his head drop slightly as he continued to laugh. "And I'm very glad you got that black dye out of it."

Raidou ran a hand over his face and through his hair. "You still owe me for that. You and Genma both." He looked up at her again, smiling, the scars tugging at the edge of his mouth. "You're back."

"I'm back."

Raidou kicked the door completely open with his foot. "Well, come in. Like I said, Genma's not here yet. I heard that they've got him running around the village like crazy. Something to do with the new Hokage?"

"He didn't mention anything--" She caught his eye and smiled. "Yes, the advisers have him out heralding the Godaime's arrival."

"Lucky him." Raidou moved out of the way as she walked past him into his apartment. "The rest of us are trying to compete with one another to see who can fit the most missions into one day." He laughed at the look on Shizune's face. "I'm joking. Relax. No, we've just got all the missions piling up on us. Not enough shinobi to go around, you know?"

"I've heard about that." She stepped into a dark hallway, though from where she was now she could see the dim glow of a light from deeper inside. "I've also heard about people requesting certain people or amounts of people to complete a task."

"Things are pretty rocky right now. Come on, Namida's the only other person here. Everyone else is out on missions." They walked down the hallway and Shizune saw several photographs hanging along it. The light was too dim for her to see the details, but she could identify herself in one or two, smiling along with her friends. It was back when her hair had been long, back when she had first joined Anbu. Most of the pictures were dusty, though, and most of them contained people that she didn't know.

Raidou led her into a small room lined with a few chairs, a couch, and a low table that currently held a deck of cards and two glasses. "Hey, Namida. We've got more company."

The woman who sat before the table with her back pressed up against the couch looked up at his words and offered Shizune a warm smile. "Hello. I'm Suzume Namida. Always good to have more people around here." She was someone who Shizune had worked with before, years before, though not for long. A rather unassuming woman at the moment, with her long dark hair knotted behind her head and glasses perched on her nose, Shizune knew her to be incredibly intelligent and a nearly perfect kunoichi in how she acted.

"It really is," Raidou said, turning so that he was looking at Namida. "Namida, you remember Shizune, don't you?"

The other woman gave a start at the name, her head jerking back slightly and her eyes widening behind her glasses. "Shizune? I—but—we all thought you were dead!"

Shizune winced a little at that, but she supposed that was what many of her friends and companions had assumed after she was gone for so long. It didn't anger her; after all, eight years was a long time to be gone, especially when one hasn't left to become a missing nin.

"_So I guess you're still alive, too."_

"No, I'm still alive."

"And we're all glad about that." Raidou sat down on the other side, gesturing to Shizune. "Come on, sit down. Poker's more fun when you've got more people."

"More people to make sure that _someone_ isn't cheating," Namida said while looking to Raidou. The man shrugged, picking up the cards and shuffling them. Namida turned her attention back to Shizune. "It's—good to see you again."

"You too." Shizune sat down on the floor at the end of the table, kneeling and smoothing her clothes around her knees as she did so. There was an awkward silence as Raidou dealt the cards. There was so much to say, but actually saying any of it would be difficult.

"Who else is coming?" Namida asked as Raidou passed her a few cards.

"Genma, if he ever gets off work. I doubt anyone else. Everyone's just so busy that it's not worth it." Raidou held his cards up before him, glancing at them and then at Shizune. "Do you have anything to bet with?" She shook her head. "Well, that's fine. We'll just--"

"Do you want anything to drink?" Namida asked, cutting of Raidou, and Shizune once more shook her head. "All right, then. You know, Shizune, we all pretty much thought that you were dead. It's a shock to see you again. It's kind of like if Rin were to show up on someone's doorstep."

There was another moment of silence in which Shizune stared at her.

"...what does that mean?" she asked, keeping her eyes locked with Namida's. The other woman bit down on her lower lip, looking worried.

"I forgot, you wouldn't know," she began, her voice quiet. "Rin's—Rin's gone."

Shizune's eyes widened. "But—what happened?"

Raidou shrugged, not looking at her but picking up where Namida had left off. "None of us really know. Well, Kakashi knows, he was there, but no one wants to ask him. We don't even know for sure if she's dead, but her name's not on the stone." He glanced up at her, the cards more or less forgotten on the table. "It's been a while now, five years or something like that. No one talks about her much anymore."

"Oh." Shizune just sat there, her hands in her lap, staring at the table. She'd been expecting something to have happened, from how Kakashi had acted when her name was mention. But five years didn't mean that the woman was dead. For all she or anyone knew, it could have been a mission. It could have been something else. She wouldn't ask anything more about her, though. She almost didn't want to know anymore.

Once more, there was silence, this time lasting for several minutes, in which everyone just sat there. Shizune felt very separate from the other two, having missed so much. When the silence had dragged on for too long, she took it upon herself to start up a new conversation. "So what have you two been doing lately?" she asked, setting her elbows on the edge of the table and leaning on them, her head in her hands. She was beginning to grow tired, and the day had been very, very long.

Raidou shrugged. "This and that. Missions, mostly. I've still been trying to work towards gaining full jounin status, but I've been too busy to put my name in for the promotion." He began to shuffle the cards again, just as something for his hands to do. "I was also the Sandaime's personnal bodyguard during the Chuunin exams...though that isn't something that I should be proud of, seeing as how well things went."

"It's not your fault," Namida said vehemently. "They took you out with four kunai--"

"Which sounds pathetic enough--"

"--_and_ you had Orochimaru right next to you. There's not much you could have done!" She glared at the man who sat across from her, as though daring him to contradict her.

Raidou sighed heavily. "She wasn't even there," he said to Shizune. "Heard it all from Genma."

"Genma can be a very reliable source of information," Namida shot back.

"When he wants to be."

"Oh, just be quiet!" Namida shook her head, then turned to Shizune. "He's been sulking about the whole thing for several months now--"

"I have _not_ been sulking."

"Yes, you have." Namida shook her head again, rolling her eyes this time. "Anyway, I've been been teaching, which is why I wasn't there to see everything that happened. I was helping to get the kids up into the cliffs."

"Teaching?" That interested Shizune. Namida had never struck her as the sort of person to teach.

The woman nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. I've been teaching the girls at the academy about all of the wonderful tricks that we employ as kunoichi. They aren't all so thrilled about it, but a few of them really seem to enjoy it. It also gives the girls a chance to practice all of their techniques without the competitiveness of the boys. They still have combined classes, of course," she added quickly. "But I think that the class is a very good experience for them."

"You'd think so," Raidou muttered under his breath and Namida glared at him.

"Be quiet. You couldn't teach to save your life."

"I probably could." There was the sound of knocking from down the hall and Raidou rose. "I'll get that; it's probably Genma." He left the room quickly, as though he wanted to keep another argument from starting.

Namida laughed. "He's too easy to tease sometimes."

"If I remember correctly, he always was." Shizune smiled happily; it was nice, because even though she wasn't the one doing all of the talking, it was nice to see the Raidou that she remembered. "You two still working together?"

Namida sighed, picking up one of the glasses on the table and taking a sip from it. "Not really. We did some Anbu work together, a couple years back, but then they took me out of the field and put me in intelligence. I got a little office and a bunch of papers and maps. Still, it was good work. Challenging work. I liked it." She took another sip from her drink.

"Are you still in Anbu?" Shizune asked, curious about that. She'd only done a few missions with the woman, but remembered that Namida had been a highly valued operative.

Namida swallowed her mouthful of drink, then let out a short laugh. "Still in it? Who can get out? Well...Kakashi did, but that's because he's got a genin team now. No, I'm still in it, though I'm no longer on active duty. Raidou and Genma are in similar positions. Pretty much, we all just take whatever missions are given to us without complaint, whether they're Anbu or regular." She looked up as two men entered the room. "Hey Genma."

"Hey." Genma dropped down on the couch, looking worn out. "Hello again, Shizune. Raidou, do you have anything to drink?"

"Water," Raidou said with a straight face and Genma glared at him before letting his head fall back against the cushions. "I take it you mean something alcoholic?"

"Yes."

"Not a very smart choice, seeing as you'll probably end up running around again tomorrow, but I think I've got some sake stashed somewhere. Shizune, are you sure you don't want anything?"

She shook her head. "No thank you, Raidou. I'll be helping Tsunade with paperwork tomorrow, and I don't want to risk having a hangover."

"Suit yourself." Raidou left again, this time into the adjoining kitchen.

"So, you're working with the Godaime, then?" Namida asked, interest sparked in her eyes. "I'd heard that Tsunade was back—you were with her, weren't you?"

Shizune inclined her head. "Yes, I was. And I'm helping her to get adjusted to things, though I'll have missions to do soon, if I'm not mistaken."

"You'll get sucked back in," Namida agreed, then turned her head with an annoyed look and pushed Genma's legs away from her. "Are you just going to lie there all night?"

"Yes," came his answer from the couch. "Don't bother me."

Namida rolled her eyes, grinning at Shizune. "He's been oh-so-wonderful to be around as well. Not entirely sure why he's sulking, though."

"Too many missions."

"Ah, that could be it." She drained the glass that she was still holding. "At least most of them can be accomplished in less than a day. Most of them just have a lot of travel time. I get to stay in the village, though."

"Then you don't have anything to complain about, Namida." Shizune glanced over Genma, who was simply making comments from his place on the couch. He was sprawled out now, he legs stretched out across the length of couch, one arm sprawled over the back. From what she could see, his eyes were closed and he was chewing methodically on the senbon that was stuck in his mouth.

"Long day?" she asked him, watching the jerking motion of the senbon. She heard him sigh.

"Yeah. I'd give a lot to get out of the village for awhile. The advisers have got me running errands for them all day long."

"And we all know how terrible it is for you." Raidou's voice was dripping with sarcasm as he came up behind the couch. "Here." He handed Genma a small cup of sake. "I'm not letting you have that much, because, with your luck, you'll end up with a hangover _and_ some mission tomorrow." Raidou walked around the couch and table, sitting down where he had been seated before. "I guess the game of cards is done."

"Guess so." Namida pushed a couple of cards towards him. "Or you could start a new game."

Raidou added the cards to the deck. "Doesn't look like anyone's really interested. Genma?"

"Nope. I'm just going to lie here, thanks."

"Shizune?" he asked, and she shook her head once again. "Oh, and just because I'm wondering, where are you staying?"

"At the moment? I've got a room at an inn, but I'm going to need more a permanent arrangement soon." Shizune played with the edge of her robe, looking thoughtful. "You wouldn't happen to know of any places that are renting out rooms for a good price, would you?"

"Well, actually...I think some of the rooms on the top floor here are open..."

"They've got a really weird layout to them," Namida put in. "This whole building seems like it was just stuck together at one point. I mean, they didn't really need to put that hallway in over there," she pointed to the hall that led to the door, "but they did. I think the upper floors are a bit nicer, though."

"I'll look into it for you in the morning, all right?" Raidou looked over at Shizune, who nodded.

"That would be nice. Thank you, Raidou."

"No problem." The cards were shuffled again and he dropped them down in the middle of the table. "Anything for a friend. Even an old one."

"Are you implying that Shizune's old?" It was Namida again, and her voice was teasing.

Raidou's eyes narrowed. "Now you're just spinning my words out of context!"

"If they can be taken out of context, then you said them wrong in the first place."

"Can you two be quiet?" Genma grumbled from the couch, one arm now flung over his eyes. The cup that had once contained sake was now empty and sitting on the table next to Shizune.

"You going to sleep here tonight, Genma?"

"I hope you don't mind. You're couch is very comfortable, Raidou."

"He does this all the time," Raidou said to Shizune. "It's like he doesn't have his own place or something."

"Are you sure that he actually does? He might just be faking." Shizune grinned as she heard Genma give a low growl of protest. "What? I thought you were trying to sleep."

"Never said that."

Things continued like that for the rest of the night, though Genma's comments died off after a several minutes. Shizune herself was quiet, for the most part, and mostly just listened to Namida and Raidou banter and insult one another. It wasn't because she didn't want to talk—she did, quite a bit—but more because she was beginning to feel incredibly tired, as well as because she felt so out of place. She may have been a friend, a companion, and a teammate to them, but that was eight years ago. She felt like an outsider looking in, not fully understanding all of the jokes and jabs that Raidou and Namida threw at one another. It bothered her, that she was left out, but not because they were leaving her out. They weren't; they spoke to her, they asked her questions and she answered, but she couldn't join in with their interaction.

But she had fun, all the same. It was nice to sit with them all again and just watch them. It truly was, and when she left she found herself not wanting to leave. However, it was growing to late, and though she didn't look to see what time it was when she returned to her hotel room, she was sure that it was near midnight. She fell onto the bed and into a deep sleep, filled with the normal jumbled dreams that she had always had, which made no sense in the end and seemed to carry no deeper meaning.

Morning found her back in the Hokage's office, before a grim faced Tsunade.

* * *

A/N: Well, there it is. I meant it when I said there would be several weeks in between chapters, but that you would get massive chapters for that wait. Almost 10,000 words here. 

I didn't have computer access for two weeks, and I had trouble starting the chapter. I also made the mistake of writing the sections out of order, so I had to work on piecing them together. I also had to entirely rewrite the last scene, because in the original version it took place at Aoba's home. But I like how it turned out; that scene was a lot of fun to write.

I suppose I could have split this into two chapters, but I wanted to contrast Genma and Raidou's reactions to seeing Shizune again. I'm still working on their characterizations. I enjoyed writing the Raidou-Namida interaction, though.

Speaking of Namida, she's the woman who taught Ino and Sakura in one of their flashbacks. I think she has about two panels in the manga, but I wanted to include her. According to leafninja . com, Suzume is her family name and Namida is her given name. I've only ever seen her called Suzume in the few fan fictions she's shown up in, so I wanted to be different with that. However, I may at sometime come back and change this, depending on what I decide in the future.

Thank you all for the feedback on the first chapter, especially to Erithil for the critique. Comments and critisim are welcome, of course, and if you see any contradictions between this chapter and the first one, please tell me.

I won't have computer access for another week, but I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner. You'll probably be able to guess as to what is coming next.

Raven


	3. Apology

Chapter 3:

Apology 

They left Konoha near sunrise, slipping silently out the gates as most shinobi tended to do. Heading to the northwest, they moved through the treetops at a quick pace, jumping from limb to limb, being careful not to misstep and tumble all the way to the ground. The trees that surrounded Konoha were old and very tall. The more experienced ninja often used some of the highest branches to avoid detection, and if one were to fall there was the possibility of severe injury.

Shizune had to admit that this was something she hadn't done in quite a while. Traveling with Tsunade had meant acting, for the most part, like a regular civilian of whatever country they were in, and the average person didn't hop through the treetops. She found it enjoyable, to say the least, though she realized that her footing wasn't quite as sure as it had been when she was younger, and she also found that she wasn't able to keep up with her teammates with as little effort as before. She wasn't lagging behind, and was able to keep her place behind Genma, but found it more tiresome than she had expected it to be. Eight years had not done any good for her skills and techniques as a ninja.

But despite that, Shizune was glad to be back. When Tsunade had called her in that morning, she had been surprised to find that she was already being sent out on a mission, but more so because she would be teamed with both Genma and Raidou. She hadn't expected to work with both of them, at all, but it would be nice because they had known her fighting style, and she had known theirs. Unless that had changed drastically over the year—something that was entirely possible—they would be able to function as a unit easily.

The last member of the team was a man who Shizune didn't know; a chuunin named Tatami Iwashi. Her first impression of him was that he looked very cautious. She caught him looking at her through narrowed eyes, as though he distrusted her, and while that could possibly create problems within the team, Shizune couldn't fault him for that. After all, he looked to be four or five years younger than her, and she would have been tucked neatly away in Anbu by the time that he had joined the ranks of ninja. The fact that he most likely had never seen her before, as well as that she wasn't wearing a Konoha forehead protector probably added to any suspicions he had.

Shizune really did hope that all four of them would be able to work with one another. Their mission called for teamwork, and it was important enough that they could _not_ mess up.

Supposedly, there was a group of unmarked shinobi who continuously were entering Fire country, most likely conducting surveillance for whichever country they came from. Somehow, they were able to slip through any patrols and had shown themselves to be very hostile. Several teams had been lost already, though due to the fact that no one had returned from them, they could not confirm that it had been the same group of shinobi. However, as Tsunade had said, they could take no chances. Their job was to find the enemy ninja, try to determine where they originated from, and then to capture or eliminate them. The exact number of shinobi was unknown, but most likely it was four or five people, chuunin rank or higher.

They continued to run through the trees at a fairly fast pace, pausing for short breaks every few miles. Genma, the team leader, had told them that they needed to move quickly, because there was no telling how long it would take to locate their targets. Their team would be able to complete it easier than most others, however, because it was comprised of three Anbu and one chuunin who supposedly excelled in tracking. While it wouldn't be easy, they would hopefully be able to sense their enemy long before they themselves were discovered.

They continued moving for the entire morning, few words passing between any of them. Slowly, the tress began to thin, and they were forced to take longer jumps between branches, often having to move either lower or higher in the trees to make sure that they didn't fall. Shizune found herself having trouble with this, as well as with her body in general. The muscles in the back of her legs were beginning to burn from the constant motion, and several times she found herself landing too hard, sending small shocks through her feet and up her calves. She continued to move, though, never stopping, making sure that she kept pace with the three men.

Mossy branches made for very bad footing at times, something which she had known since she was eight and fell of a bottom limb of a tree, straight onto her back. She hadn't been hurt, just winded, but she had been much more cautious since then. However, with the trees growing further and further apart, Shizune found herself taking larger jumps. Genma's pace had quickened as well, which gave her less time to land properly.

She landed nimbly on on branch, in a slight crouch, before springing forward once more. This time, as she landed, she found her footing unsure, her weight too far forward, and the moss too slick. She quickly collected chakra in her feet, anchoring herself to the surface, but her forward momentum kept her upper body moving, unbalancing her. Now that her feet were secure, she could be sure that she wouldn't fall, but that meant that she had to temporarily stall.

Then she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her into a more stable position, and she turned to see Iwashi beside her. She smiled her thanks, and then they both resumed movement, Shizune making sure that she didn't make the same mistake again.

Eventually, it became impossible for them to continue in the trees, and Genma signaled for them to group on the ground. The area that they were in was still forested, though much younger, the ground heavily covered in brush and moss, with trees that were too small to support the weight of a human.

"We'll take a short rest," Genma said as the other three dropped down beside him. Inwardly, Shizune was glad that he said that, outwardly she simply nodded. "Raidou--"

"Nothing at all." Raidou pulled out a flask of water, pulling the stopper from it. "I haven't sensed anyone for several miles; not since we left the boundary."

"Keep checking. We should be nearing a village where they were sighted last."

"Got it." Raidou tipped his head back, drinking several mouthfuls of water. He appeared completely at ease in that moment, but Shizune knew that he was continuously scanning for any sign of chakra or human life.

"What's the plan, Genma?" Shizune asked, taking a drink of her own water. The hours of movement had left her tired, with sore muscles. Resting her hand against her thigh, she eased a very small amount of chakra into her legs, loosening the muscles and removing some of her discomfort. She looked up to see Genma watching her, his brow furrowed in a slight frown. "For when we find them?"

"Depending on the number," he began, still looking at her in what she thought was concern, "we'll split up. Two of us will move around from behind them, while the other two engage them head on, as well as act as a distraction." His teeth clicked on the senbon as he chewed on the end. "We need to identify the leader, or whoever appears to have the most information. Shizune, that's where you come in. I need you to incapacitate him; knock him out, do whatever you have to. Just keep him alive." Shizune nodded, capping her canteen and replacing it on her hip. "Iwashi, you and Raidou will make the first move. Get rid of as many as you can. Shizune, you'll be with me. Everyone get it?"

"Understood," she heard Iwashi say, and she nodded again.

"Genma." Her head snapped to the side as Raidou spoke, and she saw that the man had gone tense, reaching into the pouch that hung at his hip and withdrawing a kunai. "We've got company."

Genma was at his side in a moment. "How far?"

"'bout two kilometers to the northwest, moving towards us. I'm not sure how many--" He turned his head and looked to Iwashi. "Tatami?"

"At least four," the man said, one hand spread on the ground. "No more than six. Raidou's right; they're about two kilometers from here." He glanced up at the rest of them. "What now?"

Genma chewed on the cold metal of his senbon for a moment, glancing at Raidou, then to Shizune, before looking back to Iwashi. "Move out. Keep your radios on, but refrain from using them unless you absolutely have to. Shizune--"

"Got it." She pulled the small contraption from one of the compartments of her vest, fitting it around her ear and fixing the collar that held the microphone around her throat, then nodded to Genma. "I'm ready."

"All right." He gave a nod to Raidou and Iwashi, and then both groups moved out, heading in separate directions, both with a similar goal in mind.

As they moved away, in that small moment of silence before they came into earshot of their enemy, Genma looked over at Shizune.

"You all right?" he asked, and she narrowed her eyes, wondering why he had asked. "With that stumble back there--"

"I'm fine," she said, maybe a little too harshly. "I'm just...out of practice. Don't worry about me."

He gave a nod of his head, and they continued silently on.

And then--

There wasn't silence anymore. There was metal and blood and screams, and the flare of chakra through the air, and Shizune fought.

There was never silence in battle.

* * *

Shizune's earliest memories were of the sea. She remembered the pounding of waves, the taste of salt, and the crying of the gulls. They were all things that comforted her now, and she loved being in water almost more than anything else. 

She had been born in Konoha, to a woman of fairly low social standing and a jounin. Several months after her birth, her father had been killed on duty, and as the money from his profession dried up, her mother gathered all their things and took her to the coast to live with her family.

The Gekkou's had never truly established themselves as a clan within the limits of Konoha, but for many generations they had lived on the coast, a people of dark hair and black eyes. They were fishermen and traders, for the most part, running one of the smaller seaports that dotted the coastline. Their connection with Konoha was through the trade of fish and seafoods, as well as other good that came in on the ships that docked in their harbor.

For her first four years, that world was Shizune's life.

She could remember her house, though the actual shape and layout of it was fuzzy in her memory. What she could remember, almost as clearly as if she were still there, were the smells; salt, sweat, cooked fish, woodsmoke, and the oil from the lamps. There had been warmth in that house, and the dim presence of her mother, the sound of her laughter.

Shizune had spent most of her time outside bounding along the sand that line the beach, peeping into tide pools and poking her fingers at sea anemones, climbing the rocky sea stacks, and scraping her knees and elbows on the rocks as she slipped on seaweed. There were fish in pools, crabs, other odd little creatures that crawled and scuttled around, making tracks in the sand. Shizune delighted in all of it, never growing tired of watching and playing.

When she was little, she wore her hair long, a jet black tangle that hung down her back. Her feet were bare and smoothed by the sand, her skin darkened and rough from being outside. She was a wild little creature, running and dancing and draping herself with seaweed, spinning around and around in circles until she was too dizzy and fell down, laughing.

She had an entire family out there by the ocean. A grandmother and grandfather, both stooped and old, their hair white, their faces worn out by life. She remembered her uncle's hands, rough and scarred, with dirt and fish guts crusted under the nails; his wife—her aunt—who was small and delicate, a wispy creature who's lungs were damaged from some sickness and would go through bouts of coughing that would bring a young Shizune running in concern; many, many cousins, both older and younger, who she laughed with and played with and annoyed until they told her to go away. For a time, she lived in that world, a happy, playful child with bright eyes and wild hair.

It was her uncle Dan, her father's brother, who brought her back to Konoha. According to her mother, Dan looked very much like her father; tall, with lighter skin and odd grey eyes, and hair that was so bleached of color that it was nearly white. The first time Shizune saw him, his strange appearance frightened her, the light colors that were contrasted so harshly with the darkness of the Gekkou family, and she hid behind her mother's legs, gazing out at him with large, black eyes.

He brought them back to Konoha, though Shizune never learned why, and her mother never told her what had made her agree. Nevertheless, they came back, moving into a small apartment that smelled too clean and lacked the smoky, fishy smells that Shizune loved. And then, when she was five, Shizune began her schooling at the ninja academy.

The first gift her uncle ever gave to her was a package of practice kunai, slim enough for her tiny fingers to fit around, dulled on the edges so that she wouldn't cut herself; on his days off from work he taught her how to throw them, taking her to the practice fields and having her use trees for targets. She grew to love this, and the days that he would spend with her, and she started counting down until the next time he would be home. It was unfortunate that, as time wore on, he was called away more and more often, off in the outskirts of the country or somewhere else entirely, and she saw him less and less, so that after a time it was almost as though he didn't exist inside her life at all.

Of course, that wasn't entirely true. He was there when she entered the academy, and he was there when she graduated. He saw her off on the day of her first mission, tucking extra bandages into her pack, and telling her that every team should have someone to take care of the injured. When she told him that they were only picking up litter around the village, he laughed, ruffled her hair, and told her that one could never be too careful. He was also there when she came back from that mission with dirt smudged on her face, scrapes on her knees, and complaints about stupid boys on her tongue.

Dan was really the one who pushed her into the path of becoming a medical ninja, and she never knew whether to thank him for that, or to hate him for it.

There was so much in her early life, so many things that she probably shouldn't have lived through, and as a child she shouldn't have experience, but that was a ninja's life. By the time she was ten, she had already stained her hands with blood. From the time she was nine and became a genin, she had nearly died countless times. Been wounded, exhausted, half-dead in the middle of some forest, never thinking that she would make it. Watched friends, family, teammates fall and never get up, and had watched others curl up and fade away, whether from physical injuries, or the deeper scars on the mind that so often times would drive those she knew to become only husks of themselves.

And yet, here she was. Twenty eight, and still alive.

Shizune opened her eyes to a bright glare, and found herself closing them again as pain decided to crawl through her head. Then she opened them again, squinting against the light. Her eyesight was fuzzy, and she couldn't make out any shapes, only vague areas of light and dark. Something moved before her, and she could make out the color green.

"...une? Shizune?"

She blinked once, twice, and then the face of Tsunade swam into view. She opened her mouth, and words came out, quickly, brokenly, in an almost mechanical way. "Underestimated injuries, overestimated abilities, waited too long, didn't take time to--"

"Quiet." Shizune clamped her mouth shut, and felt a light touch on her forehead. There was warmth, and then she felt Tsunade's calming chakra flood her veins. Almost instantly, her focus returned and the headache faded somewhat. "I didn't ask you to name your five mistakes."

Shizune smiled, though not in a particularly happy manner, and pushed herself into a sitting position. Her body ached, but she felt more awake than she had before. "How long was I out?" she asked, pushing hair out of her face. She noticed the drawn look to Tsunade's face, but decided not to comment.

"Your teammate brought you in six hours ago." Shizune looked up in surprise. "I let you sleep. But what I want to know is how you managed to nearly drain your chakra reserves."

Shizune sighed, remembering the events of the last...day? It certainly seemed like it had been longer. "It was a miscalculation. The...original mission lasted longer than anticipated, and there were a few injuries...the enemy also put up more resistance than expected."

Tsunade nodded slowly. "Tatami Iwashi's already been looked at. Looks like it was a pretty nasty scrape he got."

Shizune gave a nervous laugh. "Well, it wasn't the easiest to repair on the spot. We were also engaged with six of the enemy at one time. They were from Cloud."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed and she gave Shizune a calculating look. "How did you manage to figure this out?"

"When we were in Lightening country, a few years back..." Shizune trailed off, looking down at her hands. There was still blood caught beneath her fingernails, turning black with age. "I knew one of the shinobi."

_A larger man, with dark hair and gentle eyes, who smiled at her and made her feel welcome--_

_--she thrust her arm forward, the chakra cutting through his skin and flesh and muscle, blood splattering on her face. His eyes were wide, and he gasped once, twice, but there wasn't recognition in his eyes--_

_--a body, sprawled on the ground, staining the earth crimson--_

"Really." Tsunade sighed then, heavily. "I'll be expecting a full report, whenever you get the time."

"Of course." Shizune dug at the blood that was under her nail, clearing it away. It was a nervous habit of hers, cleaning her nails, digging one nail under the other and clearing away any debris. And now she was fairly nervous, because there was one thing that she both wanted to know, and didn't want to know at the same time. "How are Raidou and Genma?" she finally asked, her words coming slowly and quietly from her throat.

"They're both alive," Tsunade said, her eyes locked on Shizune. The younger medic looked up, breathing a sigh of relief. "But neither has woken up yet. Raidou took a lot of damage to his head, though I don't think there will be any permanent effects. Genma is doing well, thanks to how well you stopped all of the internal bleeding."

"As well as can be hoped for, you mean."

Tsunade shrugged. "He is recovering. As I said, you healed the internal injuries very well. He'll make it through all of this, and he'll most likely be able to be back on duty by the end of the week. After a few more healing sessions, that is," she added as an afterthought.

"A week?" Shizune's head snapped up, an almost wild look in her eyes. "Tsunade-sama, I hardly think that is enough time--"

"It's all the time we have, Shizune." She sighed heavily, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. "We can't afford to have two men down for that long. We don't have enough people as it is. As soon as they can fight again, they're back on duty."

Shizune nodded jerkily. She knew. She understood. That didn't mean she liked it, at all, but she knew that no matter how much any of them hurt, no matter what happened, they had to keep moving forward, never stopping.

_Sensei, your arm--_

_It's fine, Shizune. Don't worry yourself with it._

_But I can--_

_I said that it's _fine_. There's nothing you can do, anyway._

"I understand, Tsunade-sama," she said softly, shifting her weight and swinging her legs over the side of the cot. Instantly, her head began to pound. She shut her eyes tightly, breathing slowly, trying to will the pain away.

"Shizune--"

"I'm fine." She pushed herself to her feet, finding herself to be surprisingly stable. Just the headache, and few dull throbs of pain in various parts of her body. "I just...I need to see them."

Tsunade was silent for a moment, then she nodded. "All right. You're lucky that you recover quickly from chakra depletion. Your clothes are on the chair, and your boys are two rooms over; room 106. Make sure you don't do anything stupid. There are several teams schedualed to get back in today, and there's always the chance that I'll be needing you to assist them."

"Understood." She waited until Tsunade had left the room, then proceeded to discard the hospital garb, pulling on her normal garment, belting it tightly. Her skin felt very sensitive in places, the fabric feeling incredibly harsh against it. She ignored it, attempted to ignore her headache, and made her way carefully out of the room.

She paused outside of the door that would lead her to her teammates. She took one breath, than another, and then pulled sharply on the handle.

The room was dimly lit, the curtains closed almost all the way, only narrow beams of light falling over the floor from gaps in the light fabric. The lights were off, and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness.

She saw them soon enough. Two beds, the ones closest to the window, were occupied; every other bed was empty. Walking closer, she found that neither was awake—asleep or unconscious, or even dead, if she hadn't seen the slow rise and fall of their chests that told her they were still breathing.

She walked to Genma's side first, setting two fingers to the side of his neck, checking for a pulse. It didn't matter that she could see him breathing; she needed to know for sure that he was alive. That they both were alive. She sent the smallest thread of chakra into him, letting it run through his body, checking the damage. It was significantly less than when she had so desperately tried to heal them both out in the forest.

Then she went to Raidou, repeating the process, finding him to be alive and healing. She sank down beside the bed, resting her head on the mattress. Her headache had faded somewhat, but it was the shear relief at them both being alive, all right, _still there_ that made her feel _so_ tired.

She rested there, her eyes half closed, watching Raidou breath. So many times. There had been so many times that she had seen both of them like this, silently lying in hospital cots. So many times covered in blood, nearly dead out in the forest. So many times, and yet they still kept going.

She wondered how Raidou had acquired the scar on his face. It looked like it had been painful, almost as though the skin had been melted. She wondered if it ended at his neck, or if it continued downward. She wondered how badly he had been hurt, and who had healed him, if it had been Rin. She wondered what happened to Rin.

She wondered about so many thing, and she knew that she had missed so much. So, so much. Eight years worth of laughter and pain, of injuries, of death and life and everything else. So much of _their_ lives; of Genma's and Raidou's and Rin's and Aoba's and everyone else who she had know and cared about. Looking at the two men who had been her teammates and friends, she knew that she didn't even know them anymore, just as they really didn't know her. She wasn't the Shizune they remembered, and they weren't her Genma or her Raidou. She wished...

_She wrote two letters, ink staining her hands by the time she was done. Only two letters, one for Raidou and one for Genma. They explained nothing and everything, and she sealed them in envelopes, slipping them into their lockers in the Anbu headquarters before she left._

_She wished..._

There was the sound of rustling sheets from across the room, and Shizune looked up. Genma was awake, sitting up—or, at least, attempting to—looking over at her with confused eyes.

"Shizune?" His voice was hoarse, and she saw him swallow heavily before continuing to speak. "Where—are you—is Raidou--?"

"Raidou's alive," she said, rising to her feet and moving towards him. "And so is Iwashi. He managed to get help in time, and so..."

"You?"

She smiled wryly, without much humor. "I passed out from chakra depletion."

He looked at her with a furrowed brow, frowning. "You—never mind. How long has it been?"

"Six hours. Give or take a little bit..." She moved quickly to his side, helping him to sit up. He groaned, leaning against the head of the bed. "Careful, Genma. I don't want to have to heal you again." He glanced at her through hooded eyes, skeptically, and her hand flew to her mouth. "I didn't mean that I wouldn't—I mean--"

"I know." He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back. "How...how bad was it?"

She bit down on the inside of her lip, sitting down beside him on the cot. "It...wasn't good. Not at all. You had a lot of internal damage. If Iwashi and I had come just a few minutes later, neither of you might have made it. But I managed to heal you both as best I could, given the situation."

"Well, then I'm glad you're the medic on our team. I couldn't have asked for a better one."

She gave a small laugh. "If you didn't have a medic, I'm sure you would try harder not to get hurt." But her cheeks flushed lightly at the compliment. "But we're all alive, so..."

"That's what counts right now," Genma said, his eyes opening, watching her carefully. "Thanks for getting us out of that, Shizune."

"You're welcome." She smiled warmly at him. "Just make sure you don't do anything to undo all the healing I've done. It wasn't fun to fix, so..."

"Gotcha. I won't do anything stupid." He smiled at her then, the senbon missing, his hair loose all around his face, and for some reason she couldn't help but laugh.

"I didn't say you couldn't do anything stupid," she pointed out, her eyes sparkling. "I said not to do anything to hurt yourself. So do all the stupid things you want, just as long as you don't kill yourself."

Genma chuckled. "You've said that before."

"When?"

"Long time ago." He glanced away from her, looking down at his hands. "I don't know...I think we were fourteen or so?"

She frowned, thinking back. "You remember something from that long ago?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah...but then, I'd probably remember that incident a whole lot more than you, seeing as I was the one who got into a whole lot of shit for it..."

"With...Sensei?"

"Yeah." He kept his eyes cast downward, avoiding her, and Shizune realized her mistake. She should have known better than to mention their teacher to him.

There was silence between them, then, as Shizune sought for something else to say. Inwardly, she felt as though her two words had effectively killed the conversation.

"Why were you gone for so long, Shizune?" Genma said finally, looking at her once more. "Why didn't you come home? We...we needed you." She saw his eyes dart towards Raidou, if only for an instant.

"I'm sorry." And she was. She was so sorry for being gone so long.

"Why didn't you write? That one letter...it wasn't enough, Shizune." There was bitterness in his words, and in his eyes, and it was Shizune's turn to look down at her hands to avoid his gaze.

"I couldn't," she said, forcing the words out. "It...it was..."

He sighed, defeated. "I know. I know, I know that you couldn't. It's just...we didn't know if you were alive at all. Eight years and not a word--" He coughed several times, and Shizune was relieved that there was no blood.

"Careful, please. I'm sorry, Genma. I really, really am. But I just couldn't. I _couldn't_. Please understand."

"I do."

Of course he would. Of course he did. Genma always did, even when he didn't want to. She knew that about him. It didn't matter what it was, he would try to understand. Even if he didn't agree with it, he would try to look outside of himself and see it for how it was.

_I'm sorry. I didn't...I didn't know._

Laughter._ I know. How could you?_

_I'm really, really sorry. Genma, I--_

_It doesn't matter, Shizune. I didn't tell you._

"How long did it take for you to give up on me?" she asked, glancing up at him, wondering and yet not wanting to know. "When did you all decide that I was gone for good?"

He looked at her, his eyes unreadable. "I didn't."

* * *

A/N: I've very sorry for the long wait. The beginning of this thing just didn't want to be written. And I've been sick--and I've been having really bad headaches. And I've just been really, really busy. Real life never slows down. 

Oh, and the Shizune being related to Hayate idea? Complete crack. Came from seeing one too many fanarts in which Hayate look like a flat chested Shizune.

Thank you all for waiting, and for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter; I'll attempt to get the next written. I really do want to keep writing this. If it drops off again...throw something at me, will you?

Raven


	4. Regret

Chapter 4: 

Regret

The first thing that Raidou became aware of as he returned to consciousness was the dull throbbing in his head. The second was the ache of the scars that covered the left side of his body, but at the moment that seemed rather minor.

He wasn't entirely certain where he was for a moment; he kept his eyes closed and his body still, and he waited to see if anything around him would tell him where the hell he was.

The air smelled clean, though not the clean that one would smell somewhere out in the forest after it had rained. It smelled...well, it smelled rather clean, but the cleanness had a sort of...medical smell--

_Aaaah. Hospital. Got it._

He decided that he would blame whatever had happened to his head for his slow thought process.

He cracked his eyelids a sliver, just enough to let a little light in. Thankfully, the room was dimly lit, and so opening his eyes didn't cause his head to want to split in two. No, it already felt like that, so the light didn't really do anything. Nope. Nothing.

_Breath in, breath out. Inhale, exhale. Ouch, ribs._

He obviously wasn't in the best shape. They must've been beat pretty badly.

He opened his eyes a little wider as they adjusted to the light. The sound of two people speaking drifted toward him, and he turned his head a little, trying to find the source of the sound.

_Well, isn't that a familiar sight._

What he saw did remind him of other hospital visits from years ago, of the days when stupidity and bad luck tended to land one in the white beds more than anything else. Of days when Shizune would sit with one of them or the other, healing them and calling them idiots for whatever it was that they had done.

It didn't look like she was doing any healing now, just...sitting. Sitting and talking. With Genma, and Raidou's next thought was that he was glad that Genma was still alive. Not that he was particularly surprised—he wasn't even all that surprised that he was still alive. After all the other crap that he'd gone through—such as nearly having half his face torn off, among other things—he'd stopped being surprised when he woke up in a hospital bed. Not surprised, just...grateful. Thankful. Yes.

He wasn't entirely sure what the two of them were talking about. They were speaking to softly for him to hear anything much, just snippets of a couple of words. He thought that he could see Genma smiling—that was good. Shizune's back was to him, so he couldn't tell anything about her expression, but he figured that she was probably smiling, to. Although, if he remembered correctly, she smiled a lot. Too much, actually. But that was just how she was. She'd either be smiling, or making that worried expression that used to annoy him a lot.

He decided that he'd just lay there for a bit, collect his thoughts. Figure out exactly what had happened and what had gone wrong.

There had a been a barrier of sorts that had hurt a hell of a lot—unless his mind was making things up.

Raidou was fairly lost in thought when the doors to the room were thrown open, but the sound of them clattering against the wall was enough to make him jump a little. It was also enough to make his head begin to hurt a bit worse, but he tried to ignore that part.

Someone was entering the room, their gait a little fast, a little hurried. Raidou turned his head, tried to see who it was, but the thick white divider curtain beside his bed blocked his view.

"Raidou! Genma! I heard that--"

_Oh, just Aoba,_ he thought, prepared to close his eyes and pretend to sleep. Then--

"Shizune."

_Oh. Oh, _shit.

He opened up his eyes in time to catch the startled, almost shocked look on Aoba's face, to see Shizune turn and look up at him, a very weak, nervous smile on her lips.

"Hello, Aoba," she said, and her voice was pleasant enough, though there was a tremor of uncertainty in it that Raidou could clearly hear.

Aoba had never been part of Anbu, and so he hadn't known, at all, what had happened to Shizune. Raidou had known, as had Genma, that she had been sent on an extended mission—at least, that's what they had been able to figure it out from what they knew about Anbu, and from the fact that her name never came up on the missing-nin list. They'd at least been able to understand why she had left.

Of course, finding her apartment completely cleaned out, with all of the remaining belongings packed away into boxes...that hadn't helped anything whatsoever. Especially with Aoba, who had always taken things harder and reacted far more strongly to change than any of the rest of them.

"We got back last night." Genma's voice cut through his thoughts, and Raidou figured he knew why he was speaking a little too loudly and a little too quickly. "Ran into some trouble on our way back in."

Of course, it obviously wasn't working, because Aoba's attention was still all on Shizune. His eyes were trained on her, and his entire posture was stiff, rigid.

"I only just got back, Aoba," he heard Shizune say, her voice very soft, and he half expected to see her avoiding Aoba's eyes with her own. "I meant to--"

"Where? Where were you?" Aoba's hands clenched slightly at his sides, and he sounded both angry and confused. There was a long moment of silence, as Shizune seemed to try to find something to say, her mouth opening and closing, as though a thousand sentences were trying to come out, but not a single one was the correct one.

"I was...with Tsunade-sama," she finally said.

"For eight years?"

He saw Shizune's shoulder seize up, saw her swallow hard. "I'm sorry. I had to leave and I--"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Raidou winced at the volume of Aoba's words. He was definitely not taking this well. Not well at all. Although, part of him could understand exactly why Aoba was so...so not understanding. He knew that _he_ had felt like grabbing Shizune by her shoulders and shaking her and just yelling at her. He almost had, when he saw her last night—or had it been the night before that? Probably the latter, judging by the light filtering through the drawn curtains in the room.

Of course, he _hadn't_ yelled at her. He'd been surprised—shocked, confused, angry, relieved—when he saw her. He could understand that it was a mission; hell, he'd been on plenty of missions that lasted for a long period of time. It was just that no one had expected hers to last _eight years_. So it was understandable that Aoba was upset—after all, as far as Raidou knew, Aoba never was told that Shizune was part of Anbu. Probably never guessed that she was. If Raidou hadn't been working with her back then, he wouldn't have known, either. She had never seemed the sort of person to get mixed up with all the shit that was Anbu. So he understood Aoba.

Though, the yelling _was_ making his head throb, and Raidou didn't like that so much.

"I--" Shizune took a breath, a deep breath, looking quite—well, almost _lost_. Shaken, certainly. "I wish that—I would have, Aoba. But the circumstances were not those that would permit that. Understand that, Aoba. Please."

"I'm _trying_. I've been trying. _For eight years, dammit!_"

Shizune winced slightly, her eyes shutting for only a moment, before looking back up. There was—well, determination, sympathy, hurt, a million little things dancing across her face, Raidou thought. "Can you understand that, were I able to, I would have told you? As a ninja, I have a duty, and you should be able to understand that. I had to leave with Tsunade--"

"Because that was what was important, right? Because in your list of priorities, she came before the rest of us? Is that it? Did you leave because she is more important that our team--"

"Stop it." Her voice wasn't quite calm anymore, wasn't quite as controlled. "Stop that right now. Do _not_ say that. You do not have the right to question my priorities, or to say that I don't care about our team. You don't know--" Her words broke off momentarily, and Raidou wondered for only a moment if it was because she had lost her train of thought, or if there was something she didn't want to say. "Please, just stop. This isn't the place to discuss this. This is a _hospital_, and these two men are _recovering._ Now, either lower your voice, or lease _leave_."

There was silence in the room, and then someone spoke from near the door. "She makes an excellent point. It would be best for you to leave." Tsunade stepped forward, to Shizune's side, dropping a hand on her shoulder. "Shizune, I also want you to go. I want you to go and retrieve some files from my office—they're sitting on the top of that damn pile--then look in on that boy—Rock Lee. All right?"

Shizune nodded curtly. "Of course, Tsunade-sama. I'll get right on it." She rose from the bed, only casting one glance over her should to look back at them before leaving the room, the door closing quietly behind her.

Tsunade turned to Aoba then, arms crossed before her. "And you. Out. I need to speak with these two, and I don't need any disruptions. Oh, and I could hear you all the way down the hall, and I'm sure that many of the other patients could as well. So keep your voice down, and I suggest you get out of this hospital quickly."

As the door closed once more, Raidou saw Genma lean back against the headboard of his bed, sighing. All things considered, Raidou was rather relieved that the commotion was gone.

"All right." Tsunade stood before them, looking at each in turn. "I know you're awake, Raidou. Now, I want you both to tell me what happened out there on your mission."

* * *

That hadn't gone well. That hadn't gone well. That...really hadn't gone well, at all. She wasn't sure what she had expected, _how_ she had expected that meeting to play out, but certainly not-- 

She wasn't upset, she kept telling herself, she kept telling herself, as though simply thinking that would keep her from walking just a little faster than normal, from having her hands clench at her sides, from having to blink her eyes every couple moments to keep tears from falling.

She passed several medics as she made her way through the halls, and she nodded in greeting to them, trying to make herself smile, as though there weren't anything bothering her.

There _wasn't_ anything bothering her. There wasn't.

And she wasn't lying to herself. She wasn't.

She just knew that she wanted to be as far away from that room right now as she could.

Shizune paused at the entrance of the hospital, blinking in the sunlight that seemed overly bright. It was quiet as well, and the only people she saw anywhere were civilians. Not a ninja in sight.

What had she expected? She _knew_ Aoba. She had been on a team with him for years, had worked with him from the time she was eight. She knew he was impulsive, loud, rash, showed his emotions all too clearly. She _knew_, and yet part of her had been hoping that he would be able to take her return much more calmly.

But, he was Aoba. And she was Shizune, and while she would act one way, it wasn't a given that he would act the same.

And what made everything so much worse was that she _knew_ he had a right to be angry. She _had_ left without a single word to him, without so much as a good bye. There had been guilt about that for several years, it had seemed. Whenever she thought about home, there had been a pang of guilt that had run through her, and it had been hard to justify it in her mind, the leaving without telling him.

It wasn't as though she hadn't wanted to. She _had_. She just...it just...

Shizune found herself nearly running up the steps to Tsunade's office, trying to work off some of the frustration. Today was not the day she had wanted to deal with this. Not today, not right after getting back from the _damned_ mission. Not while she still had blood under her fingernails.

It had...it had also been a long time since she'd killed someone.

There were stacks and stacks of files and papers on Tsunade's desk, along with several bottles of sake, one still full. The room smelled, and Shizune wrinkled her nose, deciding that sometime in the near future she'd clean the room, organize the papers, and make sure that all the alcohol in Konoha was hidden from Tsunade.

Brushing a hand over the top most files, Shizune saw that most of them were medical files—though, she also noticed that the first had a rather large sake stain on it. Irritated, she wiped at the still damp spot with her sleeve.

Scratch that, she'd not only hide all the alcohol, she pour it into the river.

Flipping through the files, Shizune glanced over the names. Most were genin, and Naruto's file was contained within them, along with one of the Hyuuga's, an Akimichi, a Nara--

There were other papers and scrolls, several of which she thought were Anbu reports—she carefully swept some other papers over them, hiding them from view. Honestly! Tsunade should know better than to leave them out in the open.

She grabbed the files that she figured were the ones Tsunade wanted—the medical files and the ones just below them—and made sure that she was holding them securely enough before heading out the door and back to the hospital. The last thing she wanted was for her to trip and end up dropping them. Doing so would just make her day so perfect.

At least she didn't quite feel like crying anymore.

When she arrived back at the hospital, it was to find Tsunade talking very rapidly to several of the medics, an air of urgency running heavily around them.

"Get a recovery team together—no, I don't care who's on it, just get them out there! We've got six shinobi out there—yes, yes, now go! I want them found as quickly as possible. Now—ah, Shizune. Let me see those files."

They were fairly torn out of Shizune's arms, and then the medic found herself running to catch up with the Godaime. "Tsunade-sama, Tsunade-sama! What is happening?"

Tsunade turned to glance at her, before looking back down at the files. "Did Genma tell you anything of what happened?"

"A little. What--"

"We've got at least five—probably six, give that Lee's disappeared from his bed--"

"What?"

"--ninja, all genin except for on, out there to retrieve that Uchiha idiot, who is most likely in the company of the five sound-nins who took down Genma and Raidou, so now I'm trying to get these sorry excuses for medical ninja out there to track down those kids because _damned_ if I'm going to just let them die out there!"

"Tsunade-sama, _please_ calm down." Shizune deftly caught a piece of paper that slipped out of Tsunade's grasp. "We'll get it all figured out, just—is that why you had me get these files?"

Tsunade nodded, passing one of the files over for her to hold. "When they brought all of you in earlier, I felt as though something wasn't right—and you were found near where Shikamaru's team headed. I pulled out the files last night, after I tended to those two—I figured that I might be needing the information soon."

Shizune understood, very well. She hadn't known about any of it—Uchiha Sasuke's flight, the genin cell being sent—due to being on that mission, but Tsunade would have known. Still...

"I found several sake bottles in your office, Tsunade-sama."

The older woman shrugged. "Alcohol helps me think."

She frowned. "Alcohol is a depressant. It slows--"

Tsunade snapped one of the files shut. "I know what alcohol is, Shizune. And don't sound like a textbook. It's boring. Here, take these," she said, dumping the rest of the files in Shizune's arms to cut off any more of her words. "And get ready. I'm going to need you when they bring those boys in."

"Right." She straightened the files in her arms, trying not to drop any of them. "But please, no more drinking today, especially not if--"

"I won't, I won't." Tsunade threw her hands up in front of her. "Honestly, assistants!"

"Tsunade-sama, you just said that we would be healing soon! It wouldn't do any good for you to--"

"Shizune, I got it. I know. Just--" She sighed heavily. "Keep an eye out for them, all right? And make sure I'm notified once they get in."

"Understood."

* * *

Shizune was in the bathroom, scrubbing at her hands to try to clean the blood completely off, when the first of the boys were brought in. 

She heard the commotion in the halls and quickly shut off the tap, drying her hands on her clothing before darting out to find two medics rushing in with one of the boys on a stretcher. Tsunade was hurrying down the hall towards them.

"--stabilized?--"

"--no, he--"

"--that room, now--"

"Shizune! There's a report from the main gate, they got another one!"

"Understood!"

When she saw the injuries that Hyuuga Neji had obtained, however, Shizune realized that this would not be easy.

* * *

She left two medics to keep him stabilized while she prepared the area they would use to heal him. They would not be able to heal him using simpler methods, or by simply channeling medical chakra into him. The two holes in his body were too large and he had bled too much already. The one through his shoulder had missed any vital organs and any arteries, but the bone and muscle had taken damage. She would need to reconstruct that part of his body. 

The minor injuries—even the hole in his shoulder—those were not her primary concerns. Those that were considered more minor at this point—shallower gashes, bruising, broken ribs—were being attended to, and were not, at this moment, life threatening.

It was the hole in his stomach that worried her most. No, it didn't just worry her. It was...it was the most critical part of him at the moment, and would require immediate attention.

Whatever had created the wounds had sliced a portion of his intestines when passing through his body. If they didn't act quickly, infection would set in, and if they didn't fix the intestines before closing the wound, he would most likely die. No, he wouldn't just most likely die...

Shizune had chosen her course of action; to use his hair as a medium and reconstruct the sections of his body. Chikatsu Saisei no Jutsu. However, to use this, she needed to draw the seals across the floor, and the technique would also require multiple medical ninjas. Ideally, nine would be used, two for each of the four supporting positions, so that they would be able to switch out whenever one would tire, and the medic-nin preforming the actual healing.

Which would be her.

There were ink stains on her hands by the time she hand finished the seal. It encompassed almost the entire room, black ink still drying on the floor.

They laid Neji in the center of the seal, careful not to disturb any of the ink. Then, each person taking their place around the edges of the seal, they began.

The process was a hard one. The outermost portion of the seal was meant to distribute the chakra from each medic; it had to be balanced and converted carefully, eventually being channeled to Shizune, who would use it to slowly heal the boy. Each of the other medical ninjas had other tasks to complete at the same time; stabilizing the boy, holding back the blood that would otherwise flow from the open wounds, making sure that no infection was spreading.

"Each person works for no more than three hours, no less than two at a time. We want to minimize the disruption of the chakra. There is no room for error here," she had said before they began, and each of the medics had nodded before taking their places.

It was slow, methodical work. They began on the hole in is lower abdomen, healing from the inside out. The cleansing of the wound came first, followed by the careful reconstruction of his intestines. Each piece of hair used in the reconstruction had to be saturated with chakra, and each one had to fuse entirely with his body before they could move on. The nerves had to be repaired, the veins, the muscle, and finally the skin. Every part had to be taken care of, not a single thing could be left undone, and as they moved from the wound on his stomach to the one on his shoulder, they had to leave time for the chakra to absorb and dissipate before saying that the first hole had been closed completely.

The first hour was fairly easy for her. The second became hard, the third harder still. As the first set of medics exchanged places, one at a time, making sure the chakra flow remained constant, Shizune willed herself to continue to breath evenly, to keep herself from breaking the chakra flow, to keep herself from losing focus.

Three hours. Then four.

Her teeth ground together as the chakra running from her began to cause small, sharp bolts of pain in her arms and legs.

Four and a half.

At the fifth hour, her hands began shaking. Sweat had been running down her face for a long time already, down her neck, her chest. Her hands were warm and sweaty. Her breath came harsher.

And then the final hair was laid in place, forming into skin, smoothing over.

"Hold," she said, her voice as strong as she could make it. "Hold..."

She tied off the flow of chakra, made sure that nothing would come undone. Then she withdrew her chakra entirely.

She let her head hang for a moment, breathing hard. Then she flexed her hands, moving them for the first time in hours.

"We're...done?" one of the medics asked, and there was a collective sigh of relief as she nodded.

"Someone...get him to a room. He still needs to be monitored. There's the possibility that...something could go amiss from here. Keep someone with him at all times."

"Understood, Shizune-san!"

She breathed in deeply, exhaled, then stood. Her legs were shaking a bit, and she made sure that she wouldn't fall as she rose.

It was unfortunate that she hadn't been fully recovered from the day before. If she had...if she had, things would have gone smoother, and she wouldn't be feeling quite as drained at the moment. Still drained, yet not quite as much so.

She made her way from the room, as fast as she could. A medic stopped her on her way down the halls, and she smiled at the information they imparted.

"Thank you," she said, before continuing on.

She heard Tsunade before she saw her, and when she saw her, she called out.

"Tsunade-sama!"

The woman gave a start, looking up. Shizune was still breathing hard, still sweating, but she was smiling broadly.

"Hyuuga Neji," she began, raising an arm and wiping sweat from her eyes. "His condition has stabilized." There was silence in the hall, and Shizune continued. "Also, I have some information. Just now, Hatake Kakashi and Uzumaki Naruto have returned...and although he was injured, his life is in no danger."

The silence continued, and Shizune looked down, knowing why. The mission...

"Just the two, huh?" She saw Tsunade sigh heavily, then look up, at the boy who wore the chuunin vest. "Shikamaru...it seems your mission was a failure."

He was shaking, and Shizune could see his face. She'd seen that expression before, on so many peoples faces. On Aoba's, on Genma's...she was sure it had been on her own. Relief, anger, self loathing as one fell apart.

"But everyone's alive," Tsunade said, and Shizune glanced over at her, at the very small, sad smile on her lips. "That's more important than anything."

_Yes, yes, that's true. They're all still alive. Everyone of them._

She saw the tears start on the boy's face, saw him bow his head, saw his hands clench.

"Next time," he started, stopping only for a moment as his voice jumped. "Next time, I'll show that I can do it flawlessly!"

_"Next time. You'll get another chance. I suppose...we've all had them. A thousand chances, if we're lucky."_

_"But I don't want to take the exam a thousand times!" She looked down at her bandaged arms, at the splints that held the healing bone in place. "And I messed up! I messed up so badly, sensei."_

_"Better to mess up now and get two broken arms than to mess up later and lose your life." He smiled at her then, ruffling her hair. "Besides, you're eleven. You're bound to make some mistakes. Just heal up, girl. Get better, and get another chance."_

* * *

It was a day later when she visited her two teammates—could she really just call them teammates after all this time? Surely former teammates fit a bit better—a day since she'd stumbled back from healing Hyuuga Neji and collapsed on the bed in her hotel room, Tonton whining and nudging at her feet. She'd slept for a long time, recovering. Of course, she wouldn't have dared be away from the hospital for so long, save that Tsunade had told her quite forcefully that she looked like shit and if she _didn't_ go get some rest she'd tie her up and let Tonton sit on her. 

So Shizune had gone back to the hotel room—she really needed to get an apartment—thrown her shoes by the door, and fell onto the bed without removing a bit of her clothing. She'd slept the rest of the afternoon and all through the night, waking only when Tonton decided to topple the lamp off the nightstand. She'd woken then, growled a few angry words at the pig for smashing the lamp, and stumbled off to the bathroom, glad to finally get a shower.

Then there'd been the matter of food, and so she left the hotel, Tonton trotting at her heels, and went down onto the somewhat crowded streets. She found food, and she also found something else; a flower shop—Yamanaka's, which made her smile—and bought two small bouquets of flowers from the smiling girl who worked there.

Just two small bunches of flowers, bought on a whim.

She knocked gently on the door to their room before entering. There was no answer, so she knocked again, a little louder. A groaning sound that seemed to contain the words 'come in' came from within the closed room.

She had to smile a little when she walked in. Raidou was sprawled on his stomach on his bed, looking half asleep. At least he didn't look half _dead,_ she thought.

"Hey," she said softly. A glance to the side told her that Genma wasn't there, but the bed was unmade, so obviously he _had_ been there...still, her stomach flipped a little when she looked over. "How are you?"

"Bored. Very bored," came the answer, and Raidou rolled over, one arm pushing him up. "And my head still hurts."

"Ah." She sat down on the side of the bed, setting the flowers on the little table that was set to the side. "Here, let me see."

He leaned forward a little as she placed her hand against his brow. A little chakra caught in the palm of her hand, then moved, running through him for a moment before withdrawing. "Well?"

"Nothing in particular is wrong." She smiled at him. "Though...it seems as though you ran into a wall at some point."

"Not a wall," he mumbled, sitting back. "Well..."

"A wall?"

"Of sorts."

"How can it be a wall of sorts?" she asked, and his silence made her laugh. "Was it a fence?"

His eyes flickered to hers. "A fence? How is a fence like a wall?"

"It's similar. But really, was it a fence?"

"No! Let's just stick with it being a wall, all right?" He was smiling, though, one half of his mouth quirking oddly from the scars on his face. "A fence...gah."

Shizune laughed, then reached over and picked up one of the bouquets of flowers. "I got you this. I didn't know the Yamanaka's had a flower shop."

Raidou took the flowers from her hand, looking at them for a moment before dropping them on the bed beside him. "Thanks. And they didn't have a flower shop for awhile. I think...I'm pretty sure Inoichi's wife took over when her mother died. They changed the name, though."

"Hm." Shizune glanced over at the empty bed. "Where's Genma?"

Raidou shrugged. "He took off awhile ago."

She frowned, biting on her bottom lip. "Did he say where he was going?"

Raidou shook his head. "No. Well, to be honest, I was asleep when he left, so I don't have any idea. I'm guessing he didn't go far."

Shizune sighed, then stood, picking up the other flowers. "I'll have to go find him, then. If—ah, if he comes back, tell him I was looking for him."

"Got it. Thanks for the flower, Shizune."

She smiled at him again. "You're welcome. It was good talking to you. I'll...see you later."

* * *

She found him down on the bridge, the one built over the small river that ran through Konoha. He looked...well, he looked much better than before. Not pale, not bloody, not dying. His flak jacket was absent, but otherwise he was wearing all his normal ninja garb. 

"Hello," she said, stepping next to him and leaning on the rail like he was. "You look better."

"Hm."

"Of course," she continued, holding the flowers out before her, over the swiftly running water, twisting them around in her hands, "I wasn't aware that you'd been discharged from the hospital."

"The Godaime is a very accomplished medic."

"Of course." She smiled to herself, then flipped her hand to the side, bringing the flowers up before him. "Here. These are for you. Since you're supposedly recovering."

He gave a sheepish sort of laugh, then took the flowers from her. "Well, yeah. They did discharge me--"

"After two days?"

"--and told me to take it easy for a bit," he said, talking over her. "I'm supposed to go back in three days or so, and then they'll let me know when I'll be back on active duty."

"Ah, active duty. Just what everyone wants."

He rolled his eyes. "Says the person who was off running around for eight years--"

"Technically," and this time it was her who spoke loudly, effectively cutting off his words, "I was on a mission for those eight years. So in the logs--"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. You win. But what," he pointed down between then, towards her feet, "is with that pig?"

She glanced at him, her mouth twitching in its smile, as she tried to keep from laughing. It just felt so nice to talk to him—to talk to both of them, really. She reached down, scooped up the pig in question. "This," she said, cuddling the pig in her arms, "is Tonton."

"Tonton," Genma repeated, looking down at the pig. "Funny name."

If she'd had time, Shizune would have warned him that Tonton was quite smart enough to understand when someone was talking about her, and that she was also smart enough to know when the person talking about her was not saying the most polite things. As it was, Tonton made an attempt to leap at Genma, snapping her jaw shut quite as viciously as a pig could as she did so.

"Tonton!" Shizune clamped her arms around the pig. Wonderful. Tonton subsided back down, but Shizune noticed how the pig continued to glare at Genma. Simply wonderful. She wasn't sure if she dared to set Tonton down now; she did have a history of going after the ankles of the people she didn't like. "Really, Genma. Tonton, calm down."

Genma was now looking at the pig with the expression of one who isn't quite sure what they're seeing. "She's not a summons, is she?"

"No. She's a normal pig. And I don't think she likes you."

"Eh. No. I don't think so." He glanced at her. "What now?"

Shizune shrugged. "Apologize."

"To a _pig?_"

"Yes," Shizune said, her arms tightening around Tonton again as the pig decided to nip at Genma's arm. "Unless you want her to keep acting like this. Tonton, stop."

Genma looked down at the pig. "Eh...sorry? You're name's not really funny at all."

Shizune closed her eyes, then shook her head. "Genma, she can tell you're not serious."

"I am serious! I don't want a pig with a personal vendetta against me!"

"Fine. Tonton," she said down to the pig who was still squirming in her arms. "Listen. Genma here is my friend, so don't go biting him. All right?"

The noise Tonton made was good enough for Shizune, and she set her down. Tonton glared up at Genma a moment longer, then headed to the other side of Shizune's feet, settling down and staring at the river.

Genma was quiet for a moment, warily watching the pig. "You're odd, you know that."

"I've known that for quite awhile. Although, _you_, with that needle of yours, aren't much better." She leaned back against the rail, glancing down at their reflections in the rushing current below. "We're all a bit odd, and there's always someone who's stranger. Besides, what's so horrible about talking to a pig?"

"It's like talking to a cat."

"And what's so bad about talking to cats?" she challenged. "If I recall correctly, you had a _stuffed_ cat that you talked to."

"That was yours!"

"But_ you _talked to it." And then she laughed as he shook his head. Then he laughed, and she smiled, and Tonton decided to take that moment to push her snout up against Genma's leg, making him jump back very quickly.

"I really hope your pig's not trying to kill me," he said, and Shizune reached down, running a hand over Tonton's back.

"Really, she's very sweet. And she didn't try to bite you, did she?"

"No, but--"

"Stop while you're ahead, Genma."

He returned to her side after a moment, and when he turned to her next, she felt the mood change entirely. "Shizune...I need to talk to you about something."

She wasn't sure why, but the tone of his voice, the way his eyes looked, it made her feel...well, rather like something bad was about to happen, and she didn't want to know.

"What is it?" she said instead, carefully meeting his eyes. It was him who looked away first, down to the flowers in his hand, down at the river. "Genma, what do you want to tell me?"

"I--" He stopped, started over, brushed a hand through his hair, knocking his bandanna loose. "Shizune, please understand that I wanted to tell you this earlier, but there just wasn't...there wasn't a moment when it was...appropriate."

"What?" she said again, softly, knowing, somehow, that she didn't want to know. That whatever it was he wanted to say wasn't worth it. That she should tell him she didn't want to know, to walk away now.

She saw him shut his eyes, saw him swallow, saw his hand clench around the stems of the flowers. "He's...dead. Hayate. He..."

And just like that, Shizune felt herself crumble. There was a moment where she couldn't quite breath, where she felt herself almost shudder. She gripped the rail until her knuckles turned white.

"We...they...around three months ago, now," Genma continued, still not looking at her. "During the Chuunin exam. Three or four months ago...Shizune..."

She took in a shallow, shaking breath. Her heat was...jumping, she thought. And she felt cold. Really cold. She rubbed her hands together, ran her fingers over the palms of her hands. She was cold. "How?" was all she could manage, because she didn't think she could say anything more without crying, without her voice breaking to pieces.

"They..." and she knew it was hard for him to tell her all of this, because his words were short, his sentences broken apart, his eye still not meeting hers. "They found him on top of one of the buildings. He...I shouldn't tell you, I..."

"Tell me," she said, her voice too harsh to her own ears. "Please, Genma."

He looked away from her, at the water again. "He was...nearly...Shizune, I don't think I should--"

"_Tell me_."

"Torn in half," he finally said, and Shizune's breath caught in her throat and she shut her eyes as tightly as she could, because she _wasn't going to cry._ "We think that...he ran into someone...from Suna, most likely. When...the attack on Konoha was being plotted and...I think he found out something, or overheard something, and..." He brought his free hand to his face, resting it against his head, then dropping his arm and looking over at her. "He became a special jounin, did you know? He made it, even with everything that he had to go through."

She felt too cold. She was nearly shivering, and then a tear collected on her lower lashes, traced its way down her cheek, fell.

Tonton was stirring next to her, agitated, but Shizune didn't—couldn't—spare her any though.

_Hayate...no..._

Shizune turned, took one step forward, and found herself caught, Genma's arms wrapped tightly around her. She tucked her head against his chest and just...just let herself cry, her breath coming in irregular gasping sobs, her shoulders shaking, her hands clutching at the fabric of his shirt.

Why? Why Hayate? Why him? He was the only family she had left. And the last time she had seen him, he'd been fourteen, looking too small under his new chuunin jacket...

She felt Tonton butt her head up against her ankle, half heard the whine of concern. But she just...the tears wouldn't...why...

* * *

They walked down to the gave together, Shizune with still red eyes and Genma with tear stains drying on his shirt. 

They stood in front of the grave, and Shizune took the flowers that Genma handed her, and she knelt, placing them before the stone, then running her fingers gently over the engraved characters that spelled out his name.

_Gekkou Hayate._

"A special jounin, huh," she said, her voice still broken. "He...always wanted to be a full jounin..."

"He would have." Genma knelt beside her, setting a hand on her shoulder, lightly at first, then her wrapped the arm around her, pulling her to him again. "He would have, Shizune."

She pulled back a little, so that she could see his face. "What...in those eight years, what happened to him? Tell me, please."

Genma gave a sad smile. "He got engaged, you know. To a nice girl, a good ninja. I think you'd like her. She's...like us. Anbu. He almost got into Anbu, too. Tried, when he was nineteen.

"Raidou taught him a bit. Sword stuff, not like I know it. And he got damn good with it, too. That...it should've helped him. When..."

Shizune swallowed, then looked over at the grave again. "I-I missed so much. How could I miss so much? I should have been here. I shouldn't have—I'm just like Aoba says. How could I put a mission before—before--"

"We all have to do it." He looked at her, and she looked up, and his eyes looked so tired and old and _so different _from when he was twenty-two, so different from before. "And you understand that. I understand that. _He_ understood that. It's just...Aoba's an idiot who doesn't think before talking. So don't...don't worry about it. No one knew it was going to happen, but we all knew it could, and you _know_ that we all take that risk, every single day."

"I know, but it just...I wish..."

"Yeah, I know."

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews (and the oh-so-gentle poking for me to get out the next chapter coughNimblnymphcough). What I'm glad about having this chapter done is that I've more or less covered all canon appearances of Shizune until after the timeskip, so now I get to have fun without being so confined to canon. 

And I love writing banter and dialogue. It's fun. Especially with Tonton involved...I've decided that pig is going to be very useful...yes...

So, I hope you all enjoyed this, and I apologize (again...I keep apologizing in each chapter, don't I?) for the long wait. I do hope it was worth it...

Raven


	5. Memories

Chapter 5:

Memories

She was surrounded by boxes. Boxes and boxes, filled with odds and ends of memory, with pictures and clothes and other things that she had completely forgotten about.

There were actually only five or six boxes, containing everything that she still owned from her life before. Each was rather large, the top flaps folded over one another to keep them closed. At least one of them at sustained water damage at some point, the cardboard wrinkled and smashed in. Genma had told her that it had been because of broken piping; the lower floors of his apartment complex had been flooded, and her stuff had ended up getting wet.

Well, she reasoned, if she had been able to live without it for eight years, it was probably all right if it got wet.

Raidou had been as good as his word, and had helped her to get an apartment, on the third floor, above and a bit to the left his own. The building was in a good spot; it was close enough to the Anbu headquarters to get there quickly if she needed to, while the hospital was only a few blocks away. It was a bit more of a walk to the building that housed Tsunade's office, but Shizune was fine with that.

And so she'd ended up with a nice little apartment that smelled faintly of smoke and cats. The metallic smell of blood clung to the walls and floor—there were dark stains, half scrubbed away from the wood floor, and unless there had been some murder or some accident, she guessed that the previous occupant of the apartment had been a ninja who had been particularly adverse to getting to the hospital.

_Like other certain men I know_, she had thought, and she had almost laughed, even though it wasn't that funny. A certain long-haired Anbu member bleeding all over her carpet was certainly not an amusing thought, or a wanted memory.

Raidou and Genma had helped her retrieve all the boxes, then gone off to attend to their respective duties. After three days of rest and a couple more healing sessions, they were both back to work, running around the village and the country.

She supposed that she should be glad she was stuck in an office for most of the day, rather than being sent on one mission after another. Oh, she was sure she'd end up on one soon enough; there was still an absolutely horrible shortage of capable ninja for the number of missions, and Shizune had seen the lists of missions. She completely understood why Tsunade had taken to pinning mission request sheets to the wall and throwing kunai at them; not that understanding stopped her from telling the Hokage that she really-didn't-have-time-to-do-that-because-these-papers-really-need-to-be-signed-and-_Tsunade-sama-put-that-sake-down-right-now!_

Shizune had found enough time between sorting papers and monitoring Tsunade to find furnishings for her new home. Near everything that she bought was second hand, used in some way or another, and the only thing she spent a particularly long time picking out was the mattress for her bed, because she was _not_ going to sleep on some lumpy sack of hay or whatever else might be trying to pass as a mattress. And with hospital duties—because there was a horrible lack of medics and a general all around lack of quality among the medics they did have, though she was probably more biased from having been taught by Tsunade and having worked with several very talented medical ninjas over the years—she could not afford to get a horrible night's sleep.

But the boxes—the boxes!--had to be unpacked, sorted through, stashed away, or the contents placed _somewhere_.

There were clothes in the first, neatly folded clothes, half bearing either the remains of blood stains, mended tears, or both. Her old flak jacket was in there, and she pulled it out, holding it up before her.

Well, it would probably fit her better than the one she had borrowed for that last mission.

Unsnapping the clasps, Shizune discovered an old scroll, the edges yellowing and tattered, that contained the names of medicinal herbs—along with those of several rather deadly ones—and several seal sequences. There was also an unopened package of throwing needles, and this she set to the side, to make sure that she knew where it was.

There were also—and she was a little surprised to find these, because she hadn't remember that she still had them at all—the clothes that she had worn some time in her early teenage years, probably shortly after her Chuunin exam. No—_no_, they _were_ the clothes she had worn at her Chuunin exam, if she remembered correctly.

She placed them back in the box.

There was a whole box of scrolls and weapons, and Shizune frowned to herself as she saw how haphazardly they had ended up. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought that someone had gone through the boxes. But perhaps she had just been hurried when she had packed everything up.

She found the package of tiny kunai that her Uncle Dan had given her, and several small senbon. And there was her forehead protector, the metal slightly tarnished, the material that held it worn and threadbare. There were scrolls and books and loose papers with random marks scrawled across them.

And there were pictures, too, stashed neatly in the bottom of one of the boxes. Books of pictures, and several smaller boxes that looked to be stuffed with them. Shizune picked up one of the albums, opening it and smiling at the first picture she saw.

It was...it was them, years earlier. Genma, Aoba, their sensei, herself. The first picture of them as a team, and they all looked so _small_, and Sensei looked so thoroughly annoyed with them. He'd always looked annoyed, always acted like he didn't want to be teaching them. Well, almost always, and after awhile she had assumed that it was half an act.

Genma was the tallest of the three kids then, with longer, lankier limbs and hair that was in a perpetual tangle. Aoba was to the side of him, looking just like the merchant's son that he was. And she was there, her hair long and wild around her face, with this uncertain smile on her lips. Sensei had his hand on her shoulder—his good hand, his good arm. The other—he was half turned in the picture, so that his left side was closer to the camera, but she could still see the bandages on his right arm, the ones that weren't there for any purpose other than because--

_Damn it_, if she could just go back--

She turned the page quickly, turned one, than two pages, and then just stopped. There, in the middle of the page, was a small picture, taken at an angle, as though the user of the camera didn't quite know what to do. It was a little blurry, but the two figures in the picture were clear.

Herself...and Hayate.

Her heart jumped in her chest, and she shut the entire album as fast as she could, placing it back in the bottom of the box. She couldn't deal with that now. She wouldn't deal with that now.

Memories. Stupid, painful, lingering memories. Sometimes she wished that she didn't have them at all.

Of course, whenever that particular thought struck, it was quickly followed by the one that told her that lacking memories would mean not remembering all of the wonderful, happy times, and all the little moments and bits of laughter.

There were plates and bowls, wrapped carefully in old newspaper, and a set of silverware that had belonged to her mother. More senbon, jammed in odd places, a wad of unused exploding tags and a bundle of trip wires. And then, underneath everything--

"Oh."

Her voice came out softly, quietly, and her fingers trembled ever so slightly as she lifted the item out of the box. This...this was...oh.

It was a chain, plain, nondescript dog tags dangling from the end. There were few markings on them, and what was there was only...well, it looked like a long number, etched into one side, and on the other tag a simple design was etched in.

Oh.

It was old, but it hadn't rusted. Old, and it wasn't hers. Old, and there was still blood caked into the metal links of the chain, blood that she'd never bothered to wash away.

_Blood slicked hands pressed something in to her own and she looked down, her stomach jumping so violently that she felt as though she were about to vomit._

_"I'm sorry." Genma's voice was barely audible, and he coughed violently, blood bubbling at his lips. "I-I couldn't do—Shizune, I—"_

_She stumbled back, clutching at the dog tags—at their sensei's dog tags—unable to do anything at all._

_They hadn't even brought his body back._

She stared at the metal object for a moment longer, breathing as normally as she could. And then a knock at the door made her jump, and she flipped the long chain over her head, tucking the dog tags under her clothing, not daring to leave them in plain sight.

"Coming," she called out as the knocking sounded again, and she stumbled over boxes and clothes and china as she made her way to the door. And she opened that door to find Namida standing there.

"Hello!" Namida said brightly—rather too brightly, in Shizune's opinion, but she wasn't about to put that opinion into words. "I got off from a mission early, so I though I'd stop by."

Shizune stared at her for a moment, blinked. "Um...would you like to come in? I--it's a bit of a mess, but..." Her voice trailed off as Namida swept past her into the apartment.

"Wow." Namida glanced around the room, and Shizune could see her eyes flicker from object to object. "It really is a mess, even though you've got practically nothing here. And it smells like smoke. Do you smoke now?"

Shizune let out a small breath that was half a laugh and half a sound of irritation. "No, I don't. And the mess—I wasn't expecting any company--"

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's not _that_ messy. I mean, compared to what Raidou's place looks like sometimes, this is absolutely spotless." She slide onto the couch that was placed carelessly near the wall. "This smells like smoke, too. Are you sure--"

"Yes." This time her voice sounded annoyed, even to her own ears. Namida looked at her through her glasses with a slightly offended expression.

"Am I annoying you?" she asked, as though the very idea was outrageous. Shizune took several deep breaths and felt the dog tags move against her skin.

"I—no. No, I'm just not...I just...I'm tired and I'm not thinking clearly." It wasn't exactly a lie; she _was_ tired from the work at the hospital, and she _wasn't_ thinking clearly, though part of that was because she was entirely too conscious of the blood streaked metal that was quickly warming against the skin of her chest. And Namida was being being so exuberant in her words that...well, Shizune didn't feel like bantering, and she didn't really feel like putting up with sarcasm.

On the other hand, she didn't like being rude to people, especially old friends, and even more so to old friends who had gone out of their way to visit her.

"What brings you over here, by the way?" she asked, aiming to keep her voice light, too keep any of that lingering irritation out of it. As she said this, Shizune settled down beside the boxes again, lifting out more of the paper-wrapped china and setting it carefully to the side. "I didn't think your complex was around here."

Namida shrugged, leaning forward to watch Shizune's actions. "It isn't. I actually came around to see how Raidou was doing, since he was supposed to still be off duty, but it turns out that he's _fine_ and he's been sent out on another mission." She sighed, resting her head in her hands, hunched forward in her seat.

Shizune glanced over at her, pausing as she unwrapped a plate that would need washing before she could use it. "Do the two of you still work together?" she asked, mildly curious.

Namida shrugged again, her shoulders rising and falling abruptly. "Sometimes. Well...not really. You know how our team more or less split of way back when. I worked with him for awhile, when we were both in Anbu, but now I'm pretty much out of _that_ all together, and he still manages to get himself sucked back in each time he gains so much as an inch. Mark my words, they'll have him back on one of their highly classified missions as soon as he's completely recovered—yes, I know that he isn't completely recovered, Shizune. Don't give me that look."

Shizune dropped her eyes, resuming her methodical stacking of the plates. They were her mother's—_had been_ her mother's, and one of the few things she had left, seeing as most everything had been destroyed when the Kyuubi attacked—and she didn't want to break or chip them. It wasn't as though they were the most expensive plates and bowls, just simple white with a simple flower motif scrawled around the edges.

"But, I guess you know how that is." Namida rolled back onto the couch, stretching her feet out before her, relaxing back into the cushions. "Last time I checked, that had a horrible shortage of medical ninja. You'll probably get caught up in all that mess again."

Shizune let out a short laugh. "With what _time?_ I can understand them wanting me back, but there's a shortage of medic-nin _everywhere_ around here. Do they even teach basic medical care in the academy anymore?"

There was a nervous laugh from Namida, who raked a hand through her wavy hair. "That...no. Not really. They've got a short class, and they cover bandage wrapping and disinfection and a couple other things—bone setting maybe, or something like that—but I don't think it's anything big. All the biggest advocates of medical jutsu kind of disappeared with you and Tsunade."

"Ah."

"Well, Rin taught for a bit," Namida continued, and Shizune looked up sharply, remembering what she'd heard earlier about the woman. "For about half a year. I only know because I had started looking into teaching. I was never all that close with her, and _you_ know that I've never really understood all that medical jargon and everything, so I didn't have all that much to talk to her about. Never mind that she was five or six years my junior."

"Hm." She glanced down, running her thumb over the rim of one of the plates, a thin layer of dust coming off. "So the class is gone. I should speak to Tsunade-sama about reimplementing it."

"And who would teach it? You?"

"Perhaps." Shizune lifted the plates from the floor and walked into the kitchen.

"You'll burn yourself out," Namida called, loud enough for Shizune to hear her. She smiled to herself as she stacked the plates in the cupboard. Yes, teaching a class would be hard, and probably unwise of her, but she found it odd that the class wasn't there anymore. She would have thought, with the country more or less out of war—at least, not in a war as it had been when she was younger—there would have been more time to devote to things like training medics.

"Do they at least have some concepts covered in the regular classes?" she asked, returning to the front room. There were old, crumpled sheets of newspaper spread around the floor now, and she stooped, picking them up and setting them back into the box.

"I told you, Shizune. They get a very, very basic class, and it doesn't cover all that much. We—oh, we do teach them some other things that could be applied to medical techniques. There's a whole unit on the chakra system, if I'm not mistaken, but there's nothing like...like converting regular chakra to medical chakra, and I _know_ that's one of the things you medics have to do." Namida then swiveled her upper body, looking out the window. "Wonderful. It looks like it's going to rain."

"Hmm?" Shizune glanced over, seeing the sky dark with clouds. "Ah, I suppose so. But it's getting closer to winter, so we'll probably start getting a lot more rainstorms."

"And _that_ will make working conditions just so perfect that I'll be wanting to work every single day!" Namida her voice was heavy with sarcasm. Then she turned to Shizune, her back to the window. "Have you had dinner yet?"

"Eh..." It took her a moment to realize that she hadn't. "No."

"Do you actually have anything to eat here?" Namida asked, and then gave an exasperated sigh when Shizune shook her head. "You're just as hopeless as ever--"

"I haven't had time to buy anything!"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, no matter. Come on, let's go out before it starts raining. There are some all right restaurants around here." She jumped up from her seat, grabbing Shizune by the arm. "You've got to eat, you know."

"But I—I still have things to--"

"They can wait. Besides, what'll happen if you forget to eat?"

Shizune sighed, allowing Namida to drag her along. It was familiar, and even though it was annoying, there was a sense of normalcy to it. Namida had always used to drag her around when they were off duty, to one place or another, and Shizune normally never protested too much. Namida was the sort of person who, once they had their mind made up, wouldn't back down easily.

Besides...dinner did sound rather good.

She did manage to loose her arm from Namida's grip after a few moments, and the two descended the steps of the building together. It did really look like it would rain, if not tonight then most definitely by the morning. It's didn't bother her too much; Shizune rather liked the rain, although she knew that it made for horrible conditions if one was, say, running through the trees, because the moss on the limbs would become terribly slippery...

"So," Namida said after several moments of silence. "How are things going? I mean, in general. Other than the running around and doing stuff for Tsunade."

"Everything is all right," Shizune said with little hesitation as they walked out into the street.

"Mhm. I heard about there being some trouble with Aoba--"

Shizune groaned inwardly. "Ah, yes."

"In the hospital?" Namida had this mischievous little grin on her face. "I heard it all from Raidou, but did he really get all upset with you for being gone?"

She sighed, her shoulders dropping slightly. "Yes, I suppose he did. But...Namida, may I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Namida caught a piece of her long hair that had strayed into her face, tucking it behind her hair. Then she glanced over at Shizune. "What?"

Shizune looked down at her feet for a moment, and only a moment, and then she looked up at Namida. "If...if Raidou...if Raidou disappeared for years without telling you where he went, and never had any contact with you, what would you feel like when he came back?"

Namida stared at her for a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Shizune. Just ask if I think Aoba's actions were justifiable." Shizune just continued to watch her. "All right, fine. I'll answer your question. I'd be angry. Of course I'd be angry. He's my oldest friend, after all. But...I guess that now, after so many years, I'd just have to get over whatever anger I felt, because that would probably mess everything up between the two of us. Besides, I've nearly lost him so many times that...well, I'd prefer to lose him to something that's completely out of my control than to be the cause." She frowned thoughtfully. "You know, when I actually think about it, it seems like he should be more upset with you than Aoba is."

Shizune's eyebrows rose and she shook her head. "No, no. You don't know Aoba. He always...reacts more violently than others."

"Well, I never _did_ get to know him that well. He had that whole spoiled rich kid thing going on when we were younger, so I never really bothered with him." She smiled like it was something amusing, even though they both knew full well that Namida had been from a wealthy family as well, and that in terms of class, her family had been about the same as Aoba's. It was Shizune who had come from the low class, Genma from the long line of shinobi, and Raidou from who knew where. A lovely little mismatched group. "Really, though--"

"I expected them all to be mad," Shizune said quickly, cutting her off. "I just thought Aoba would have used a bit more common sense as to when he was going to yell and everything."

"He'll get over it," and she sounded so confident that Shizune believed her. "Anyway, this is the place I was thinking of. Come on."

It was a little restaurant, with tables and chairs crowded inside. The room was about half filled, and the two women slipped into one of the booths closer to the windows and the door. The lighting was yellow, the sort that made the eyes hurt ever so slightly and made the outlines of objects harder to see, and there were the lingering traces of cigarette smoke in the air. Most of the people sitting at the tables and the booths looked to be civilians, though Shizune could see one or two unfamiliar people who wore forehead protectors, their flak jackets either still on or throw across the back of a chair.

"I hope this isn't expensive," Shizune said as they sat down, and Namida shook her head.

"No, no. I mean, it's good food and all, but it's nothing too great. It's close to my apartment, though."

"Don't want to walk home in the rain?" Shizune asked, a smile growing on her face. "Hydrophobic? I'm sure there's some therapy or something of that sort I could come up with--"

"Oh, be quiet." Namida's voice was somewhat amused, but there was a very raw edge to it that made Shizune wonder. "That's why I don't like medics. Always trying to come up with cures and explanations for everything. I just don't like the rain." She reached to the center of the table, picking up one of the menus. "Besides, I left notes for Raidou and Genma, telling them where we were."

Shizune frowned, picking up her own menu. "Was that your whole intent when you came to my apartment, then?"

"Of course." The smile on Namida's face was very genuine now, the raw, darker edge of emotion having left entirely. "We all try to do this whenever we can; get out and go do something _normal_, if you understand what I mean. Something away from all the fighting and missions. Of course," she added with a scowl that managed to look more lighthearted than anything else, "that doesn't stop Genma and Raidou from discussion battle tactics and weapons maintenance and whatever else they decide to talk about. It can get really annoying sometimes." She shrugged, turned her menu over, eyes skimming over the contents. "Although, it's not like we're going to wait around all night for them to show up. I've got not idea what sort of missions they're on, and it's possible they won't even be back today."

"Most of the missions that are coming in are menial ones," Shizune said, setting her menu down before her. "There have been a few that are...well, there have been several that require more skilled ninja, but most are simple tasks that can be taken care of in less than a day."

"Yeah? Oh, I forgot. You get to see all of that, since you're working with the Godaime, right?" Shizune nodded, and then Namida gave a soft laugh. "Though, I should probably know all about what sort of missions have been give out, shouldn't I?"

"If you're perceptive at all." She smiled, though, and there was no spiteful barb attached to her words.

They ordered, eventually, and then sat and ate, words interspersed between mouthfuls of food. It was a bit later, during tea and chatter, that Namida turned to the window, looked out, and gave a soft sigh.

"It's raining," she said, and Shizune turned to look as well, a hot cup of tea clasp lightly in her hands.

"It is." She sipped at her tea, her mouth tugged upwards just a little at the edges. It wasn't simply raining, it was pouring, the water already creating puddles on the street, cascading down rooftops and into gutters, turning dust into mud. Despite the horrible working conditions it would create that Namida had mentioned earlier, this was the sort of rain that Shizune loved. The heavy rain, the rain that soaked through clothes within a few moments. The rain that would drench everything and leave things fresh and clean in the morning. "It hasn't rained like this in awhile."

"Wish it would stop raining," Namida muttered into her cup of tea. Her eyes rose from the liquid, darted to the window, darted to the door, to Shizune's face, back to the window. There was a tightness around her eyes that hadn't been there before. "Do you know what sort of mission they were sent on?" she asked suddenly, still looking out the window into the rain soaked street.

"Ah...no. I spent most of my time at the hospital today." Shizune breathed lightly upon her tea, the steam curling up around her face. "I didn't get a chance to look at the mission logs. Why?"

Namida shrugged. "I just wanted to know if he'd get back today." Her hands swirled the tea in her cup, but it almost seemed as though she didn't realize she was doing it. "Wish the rain—ah, never mind."

"Mm." The tea burned her mouth a little, and she swallowed too quickly. Coughing just a bit, Shizune turned to watch the rain as well, seeing as Namida had become much less talkative.

Maybe, if the rain had quit by the morning, she'd go out to one training grounds, maybe work on bringing her speed up to par. Work on regaining the stamina she had once had. She still remembered her little slip in the trees, several days back, and she was rather embarrassed about it. Really, there had been no real reason why she should have slipped—she'd jumped around through trees for most of her life, it seemed, and she just _hated_ that she had lost her balance, if only for a moment. Yes, she'd go train.

Unless, of course, Tsunade roped her into doing the reports and filling out the paperwork again.

Across from her, Namida's tea was growing cold in her hands.

She must have not been paying attention, or perhaps they had simply come from a different direction, but a few minutes later the door to the little restaurant opened, and Namida straightened in her seat, a smile spreading rapidly over her face. She raised her hand, waved it around in the air a bit before her, her eyes focused on something behind Shizune.

She turned, looked over her shoulder, just as Namida spoke.

"Raidou! Genma! Over here!"

They were drenched, having just come in from the rain, and a few stray drops of water hit Shizune's skin as Genma slipped into the booth beside her. Water collected at the tips of his hair, falling onto soaked garments. He offered her a quick smile, one hand removing the bandanna that confined his hair, then tousled that hair, as though that would make it dry faster.

"Sorry it took us so long to get here," he said, peeling off his flak jacket and draping it over the back of his seat, the shirt underneath only slightly drier than the rest of him.

"Oh, doesn't matter." Namida was smiling now, the tension near gone from her face and her body. "We've already eaten, by the way, but of course you're both welcome to order something."

"Are you paying?" Raidou was just as soaked as Genma, dripping water everywhere.

Namida laughed. "Of course not! Why would I pay for _you_?"

"Because you're nice like that?"

There were paper napkins on the table, and Genma reached for a stack of them, drying off his face and hands. "It's pretty awful out there," he said conversationally to Shizune, his voice slightly impeded until he removed the senbon from his mouth, setting it beside the pile of napkins on the tabletop.

"Ah, yes." It was an awkward response, and Shizune took a moment before she said anything else, flicking a few drops of water off her face. "How did you mission go?"

"It went well," he said, leaning back in his seat, looking rather relaxed—albeit still very wet. "Nothing too hard, since we're still recovering from that last mission. Just message delivery."

"Message delivery?"

"_Special_ message delivery." He smirked a bit at that, picking up the senbon and twirling it idly between his fingers. When his arm rose, the cuff of his shirt pulled back, just enough for her to see the white of bandages twisted around his forearm. Shizune's arm shot out, her fingers closing around his wrist, halting the motion of his hand and the needle.

"What did you do, Genma?" she asked, almost exasperatedly.

"Eh..."

Sighing, she pushed the damp sleeve up around his elbow, exposing the bandages. With deft fingers, she undid the knot that held them closed, unwinding the white cloth. "I hope this is the only injury you picked up?"

He nodded as she peeled away the layers of cloth, the bottommost coming away streaked with blood. There was a three-inch gash in his arm, shallow and not too jagged. Sighing once more, she collected chakra in the palm of her hand.

"I'm not going to ask you what happened," she said, her hand hovering above his skin, the soft glow of her chakra surrounding the injury. "Just...just be careful next time, all right? I trust I shouldn't really have to tell you that at all, but really! I don't want to have to patch you up all the time!" His skin closed, leaving a faded white scar, and Shizune reached down and plucked the bandages from where they lay, depositing them next to the pile of damp napkins.

"You know, I really don't _try_ to get hurt." He ran his fingers over the healed skin. "And thanks, Shizune."

"Of course." The task done, she returned to her tea. It had grown a bit colder, not that she minded. A waitress, a slightly disgusted look on her face as she spied the bloodied bandages, came up to them, took down orders, and soon returned with hot tea and food for the two men. The rain continued to fall outside. Across the table from her, Namida laughed.

There was the rustling of paper and cloth as Genma pushed the unwanted objects away from him. "I hear that the Godaime--" he hesitated a bit with the word, used to so many years of _Sandaime_, or _Sarutobi_, that _Godaime_ seemed foreign on his tongue, "--took a new apprentice."

"Ah, yes." Shizune jerked her attention away from the window and the rain and back to him. "Yes, she did. A girl named Haruno Sakura."

"She was in one of the first classes I taught," Namida interjected, cutting into their conversation. "She's a very bright girl—was the best of friends with Inoichi's daughter, Ino."

"They were up against each other in the primaries of the Chuunin exam. Hayate told me--" Genma's words broke off abruptly and he cast a glance towards Shizune, as though expecting some sort of reaction at the mention of his name.

There was none, other than Shizune's eye briefly dropping to her cup of tea. There was a moment of silence, in which the rain seemed so much louder.

"What?" she finally said, a smile that was just a little too big, a little too forced, on her face. "Go on, Genma. What did Hayate tell you?" There was a strained quality to her voice, a brittle tone, as though her words would break into many, many pieces, but she seemed too happy, and if one weren't listening, if one were simply looking in, her face and her posture and everything about her would have been just a little off, but she still would have seemed perfectly fine.

Genma's eyes caught hers for a moment, searching, and then they jumped away before he continued to speak. "Eh, he told me all about the fights. I only got to watch a couple of those genin later on, but this year seemed to have a lot of people with all the odd bloodline traits and inherited techniques. But, you know, that girl—Haruno, was it?--supposedly she broke out of that Yamanaka's mind switching thing."

"Interesting." And it really was, because from everything she knew about the Yamanaka's techniques, they were incredibly hard to break out of. "Well, she seems to be serious about learning medical ninjutsu. And Tsunade-sama says that she is excellent at chakra manipulation already. I haven't seen her much, since I've been at the hospital so much..."

"She was very good, even as a child," Namida said, tapping her nails against the side of her teacup. "But she never had much physical strength, and last time I taught her, her taijutsu was a mess. But that was over a year ago, so she might have improved a bit."

"Ah. Well, I guess we'll see. Eventually."

It was a little odd, Tsunade taking on a new apprentice. As far as she knew, Shizune had been the first and, until now, the last. It was almost unsettling, this new arrangement.

But then, everything was new. It was all new, tinged with memories of familiarity and phantasms of the past. Everything. Even sitting here, now, with three old friends, it wasn't the same. Yes, there was Genma and Raidou and Namida and they were all the same, except they _weren't_. Namida had her smile and her laughter and her glasses, but she tensed every time she glanced out to see the rain, and there were scars running across Raidou's face and pulling at the skin around his eye and the corner of his mouth, and Genma was Genma, except he seemed to much older, so much sadder, and it was almost as though the little boy she had known so long ago was completely gone. They were all talking about things she didn't understand, laughing over things she didn't know, and there was this horrible gap between them and herself, and in some of the moments, where she sat silently beside them as they talked, it was almost as though there was no bridge across that gap, no way to get over to where they were, that the world had torn itself apart and there was no way, _no way_ to get the gap, the dark, deep chasm to close.

And then Namida would tease Raidou about something, and he would spit back some remark that sounded so scathing and horrible, and yet his eyes would be sparkling with humor, and Genma would turn to her and smile at her, and everything was so wonderfully all right that the gap closed right up and she could almost jump across, could almost leap forward, could almost forget that so much of the unknown lay between all of them now.

Almost.

They sat and talked and ate and laughed for almost an hour, maybe a little less, maybe more. It was raining heavily by that time, the sky dark and heavy with clouds. The restaurant was near empty, but the four of them still sat at their table, not minding that it was growing late.

Eventually, Namida slipped past Raidou and out of the booth, saying she needed to use the bathroom and would be back in a moment. As soon as she was out of sight, Raidou leaned forward, speaking a bit quieter than before, and all of the laughter and humor had completely left his voice.

"Shizune," he asked, and at once she was listening. "Before we got here, was Namida...was she all right?"

"Hm?" It seemed a bit of an odd question, because there hadn't been anything particularly off about Namida and the way she acted, except that... "She...I think so. Until...well, she seemed a bit tense, about the time it started raining, but--"

"Shit." He ran a hand through his still damp hair, clearly agitated. He glanced towards where Namida had disappeared, then sighed. "I'll just take her home; make sure she's all right."

"That's probably a good idea," Genma said, and Shizune felt as though she had missed something entirely. She could hear the conversation, hear all of their words, and yet there was that 'why' of it all that she couldn't quite figure out. "Besides, we should all probably be going. Knowing our luck, we'll end up with some huge mission tomorrow."

"Don't we always?"

When Namida returned to the table, there was a brief—very brief—argument over who would pay for the food and the drinks, although in the end it was decided that they would all pay for whatever they had eaten. Then Genma slipped his flak jacket on and tied his forehead protector around his head, and the four of them left the restaurant.

"It was wonderful talking with you, Shizune," Namida said with a smile as they stood under the overhang outside. "We'll all have to do thing again sometime."

"Of course." It had been nice, it had been fun, just like it had been those few nights ago when they all were at Raidou's apartment. And she _did_ want to spend time with them again, even if Namida could be gratingly annoying at times. "I'll see you all later, then?"

There was a smile and a nod, and then goodbyes all around. Namida playfully slipped her arm through Raidou's, there was a wave of her hand, and then the two of them disappeared out into the rain.

Shizune found herself, almost quite by accident, walking with Genma, who said that he lived in the same direction as her, though quite a ways past her apartment.

The rain was cold, she discovered soon after stepping outside, and even while walking as close to the buildings as possible, as far under overhangs and roofs as possible, she still couldn't keep from getting wet. Eventually she just gave up on trying to stay dry, instead walking out under the rain, her head angled up slightly to catch the drops on her face.

And then Genma laughed, and she was very sure that he was laughing at her.

"Still like the rain?"

"Of course!" She smiled at him, and it felt like a wider, more real smile than any she had given all night. There was this urge to laugh, this bubbling feeling in her stomach, because the rain was falling on her now, and for some reason it just made her feel so wonderful, even though she would be soaked in a few minutes.

Genma glanced up at the sky, long hair beginning to plaster about his face. "Eh, stupid rain."

"It's not stupid!" And then she laughed.

Eventually, though, she sobered enough to ask Genma about the thing she had been wondering about for the latter part of the night.

"Ah, Genma?"

"Yes?"

She pushed rain soaked hair out of her face and looked over at him. "Are Namida and Raidou...seeing each other?"

He glanced at her for a moment, then laughed lightly. "Not that I know of. They always act like that, though, if they gave that impression."

"I see." She didn't ask anything else about it, though she knew that there was a lot more to it. Raidou had seemed so concerned—and almost upset—when he had asked her about Namida. Of course, it could always be that they were just very close as teammates, or as former teammates. Perhaps that was it; Shizune knew, even after so long, that she would worry about Genma and Raidou—and Aoba, even if he had been rather horrible to her the other day. No, it wasn't just that she knew she _would_ worry, but that she already had. She'd felt that awful clenching of the stomach, the horrible rush of worry and fright when she saw them lying on the ground—when she'd felt Genma's heartbeat ebb away--

Perhaps that was all it was. She was most likely over thinking everything to do with Raidou and Namida.

"Are you all right?" Genma asked her, and she was brought out of her thoughts abruptly.

"What? Yes. Yes, I'm fine." The look her gave her was dubious, at best. "What?"

He frowned. "You just...It's only been a few days since you found out about Hayate, and--"

"I'm fine," she said, her words rushing out. She _wasn't_ thinking about that now, wasn't _going_ to think about that right now, and _dammit_ Genma, shut up. "Really, I am." She smiled, which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the best way to assure him that she was all right.

But he didn't say any more about the matter, just gave her this look that she tried her best to ignore.

"Well, this is my place," she said then, because it _was_, and it was a good way to turn the conversation away from things that she didn't want to talk about. "It was really fun tonight, Genma. I had a wonderful time."

He nodded. "So did I." And then his frown returned for a moment, and he reached out, a finger brushing the side of her neck. "You have blood on you."

"Oh!" She reached up, knocking his hand away. She ran her own fingers over her skin, and they came back tinged a very light pink. "Oh, don't worry. Whatever it is, I'll take care of it. Thank you for walking with me, Genma. I'll...I'll see you tomorrow, or sometime, then."

She smiled, and nearly missed his goodbye as she darted up the stairs, her footsteps light and just a little too quick.

Once inside, she went into the bathroom, staring into the mirror. Around the back and sides of her neck was a line of red tinged water, smeared red against her skin. She frowned, because there was no injury, and then her mouth opened slightly in a silent 'oh' as she saw the chain that she had forgotten about. From the combination of body heat, and then the rain, some of the dried blood had rubbed onto her skin.

She stared for a moment longer, then she pulled the chain and the dog tags out from under her clothing, pulled it over her head. She wiped on her sleeve, attempting to dry it, and then she strode out into the room, opened one of the boxes that held all the pictures from her past, and dropped it inside. Then, in a swift motion, she picked up all the little boxes of pictures, and the albums, and walked to her bedroom, savagely shoving them all under her bed, so hard that she heard them hit the wall on the other side. And then all the memories were out of sight.

* * *

A/N: Well, would you look at that. It only took one month for me to update. I'd say that's the shortest update time for this story so far. Probably has something to do with me having interesting Naruto again, as well as the fact that I've been making it a point to write SOMETHING everyday, whether on this story or just a random drabble about something else.

I reread the whole story, did some minor editing (of all the typos and spelling errors, although I'm sure some are still there), and I decided that I really like writing Namida, which is why she ended up being a major part of this chapter.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I do hope that you are all enjoying it.

And I'll try to make the next update come within a month, though there are no promises on that.

Raven


	6. Movement

Chapter 6

Whatever she had expected to come with the morning, she wasn't fully expecting what did.

Although, she _should_ have been expecting it.

Shizune was woken by tapping on her window, which startled her quite a bit. It was very lucky that she slept in nightclothes, because she sat very quickly, tossing her sheets off of her. It only took her a moment to locate the source of the tapping, and she wrinkled her nose in irritation as she saw the Anbu crouch on the roof outside of her window.

She flipped the latch on the window, pushing it open. "Yes?" she said, trying to keep any and all annoyance out of her voice, despite the fact that being woken up at five in the morning was incredibly annoying, and, really, she enjoyed her sleep, so this had better be important.

The Anbu operative passed a hand through the opened window, a rolled up piece of paper held out to her. "Headquarters is requesting you for a mission. They want you there in ten minutes."

Shizune blinked, the general fog of just waking up clogging her though process. Then she reached out, plucking the paper from the Anbu's hand. She unrolled it, hearing it crinkle as she smoothed the paper. She scanned over it quickly, then glanced back up.

The operative was already gone.

Scowling slightly, Shizune closed her window, locking it securely. She then rose from her bed, not even bothering to pull the covers flat and to make it look as though she hadn't slept in it.

Ten minutes.

That was barely enough time for her to do anything, and she only managed to grab a roll of bread—just about the only bit of food she had in her apartment—before she raced out the door.

Ten minutes was no time at all.

In the end, though, she made it in time, though she was still buckling on her arm guards as she met with the team she had been assigned to.

Their mission was simple enough: locate an Anbu team, provide them with medical assistance, get them back to the village. Simple, although there was always the chance that _something_ could go wrong.

The team was made up of four Anbu, those four including herself. There was one other with the unpainted white mask of a medic, a man with short, scruffy black hair. The two remaining members had the characteristic painted masks that most people associated with Anbu; a woman with long dark hair who sported a mask made to depict a feline of some sort, and a man with wild brown hair and a beaked mask reminiscent of a bird of prey.

Medic, Cat, Hawk. And herself, another medic. They had names, of course, but they were unimportant at the moment, as they quickly checked over weapons, as Hawk barked out orders, and as they moved out of the village, passing through the shadows and over the wall, and from there out into the forest.

* * *

There was a certain aspect to waking up in the morning before the alarm had sounded that was incredibly disorienting, and particularly annoying. For Genma, who happened to wake up like this far too often, it had become the simple routine of opening his eyes and staring bleary eyed at the red digits of the alarm clock for a moment, before reaching out and turning of the alarm, and then burying his head under the pillow once more.

Of course, this did practically nothing about the fact of having to actually get up, but it spared him the incessant beeping that came along with the time changing to six thirty-seven in the morning.

He didn't much like the alarm clock, and often times he felt the urge to throw it across the room, though this urge was always stemmed by the notion that throwing a piece of hard plastic against the wall might result in some damage to the wall, and repairing _that_ was not something that he wanted to. So the daily routine of wake up, roll over, hit clock, roll over again, grumble, and then finally get up persisted. Occasionally, when he didn't wake up until the alarm sounded, the rather high pitched erratic sound would cause him to nearly flip in his startled state, due to the abruptness in which the noise would jerk him out of slumber, and not nearly counting the amount of paranoia that noises like that could cause.

That particular morning, he woke well before the alarm, when the brightly lit numbers declared the time to be six seventeen. He didn't wake up in the most pleasant way, more so in the long hair having found its way into his mouth and attempted to choke him sort of way. So he rolled over onto his stomach, clearing the hair out of his mouth and pushing it out of his eyes before glancing over at the clock.

Seeing the time elicited a muffled curse from the half asleep man as he allowed himself to fall face down into his pillow.

Sleep was a precious commodity to any shinobi, especially those who had spent their lives seeing enough horrible things that sleep often brought along dreams in which the faces of long dead people—friends, enemies, family—danced through one's head and left them with restless nights and reoccurring nightmares that kept once from even wanting to fall asleep. Any sleep without the attached nightmares was to be treasured.

Genma had not been sleeping well recently—though he _had_ been before he had woken up well before he needed to--and if he wanted to, he was sure that he could pinpoint the source of all unsettling visions and memories and dreams that had begun to plague him.

And the problem with the problem was that the source of the problem was nothing that he wanted to have a problem with.

And the problem, the source of it all, was Shizune, with her unexpected return and her familiar mannerisms and her way of making him remember so much that he'd tried to push down and just forget, but because so much of it was attached to her, one way or another, everything just came bubbling back to the surface in a fragmented, disjointed way that made him uneasy and unsettled and not able to sleep through a night. And then, when everything blended together, into something that had never happened _as such_, but had happened in bits in pieces, it became all the worse.

So there were little dreams and memories attached to Shizune, some directly to her, some just triggered by her presence, or her way of mentioning something that just dug things up and pulled them out into the open. Like their sensei and blood and bandages and broken bones.

It was still dark outside, just the slightest amount of light filtering among the buildings of Konoha and into his room. Not wanting to fully wake yet, Genma lay on his stomach for about five minutes, before deciding that it was pointless to try to fall back asleep when he'd just have to get back up again shortly. Kicking back sheets, he forced himself up. Then it was just the matter of avoiding certain objects that littered the floor—flak jacket, shirt, not yet activated exploding note—as he stumbled barefooted to the bathroom, where a face full of cold water woke him completely.

"Stupid morning," he mumbled to himself, seeing his face and the dark circles under his eyes as he glanced into the mirror. A wet hand pushed back messy hair and he yawned, shutting off the tap with his other hand.

It was a fairly automatic routine that he went through in the morning. Wake, wash, eat, dress, and get the hell out the door. Shirt goes over head, weapons get checked, stove doesn't burn down house. Easy, simple, monotonous. Routine.

Of course, there were the times when Aoba stopped by with a mission all ready to do, or Raidou showed up in Anbu gear, telling him that he'd overslept and didn't he remember that they were getting deployed on a month long recovery mission? Or Anko would stop by, for whatever reason, and would knock on his door until he opened it up and had to fight to keep from yelling at her to be quiet. But those occurrences were becoming rarer and rarer as missions became long and more frequent. Half the time, none of those people who would break up his morning routine were actually in the village.

Genma knew, of course, that it was imperative that the village keep up its image. He knew that they needed to keep taking on all the missions that they could. Their reputation had been battered enough as it was—and Genma hadn't fought and nearly died half a dozen times when he was barely into his teenage years to see it all fall apart now.

* * *

Their target was about five miles out from the walls of Konoha, and so they were able to make it there fairly quickly. Anbu were used to moving fast, and so well within an hour they had found the team they were supposed to aid.

Hawk took no time in ordering them about, his words clear and audible even from behind his mask.

"You two medics, get to the wounded. We'll secure the area."

It was a standard four person team that they found—standard four person Anbu cell, to be specific. Four people, two of which looked to be in less than ideal shape, one who _really_ looked to be in less than ideal shape.

Shizune was used to acting fast—that was how Tsunade had trained her. She knew how to assess on sight, how to use the ability to sense another's chakra to determine if there was any problem. She knew how to prioritize the victims—the tallest of the team was standing to attention, scanning the area. He was conscious and breathing, with no visible signs of injury or sickness. Of the three others, one—a woman of slighter build—was doing nothing more than favoring her left leg. The other looked a bit bloodied and bruised, but was conscious and breathing as well. The third--

She was at his side within a moment, dropping down to her knees beside his prone form, and it one swift motion had collected her chakra to her fingertips. He was unconscious, breathing very shallowly—she angled his head back, making sure that his airway was clear. The fingers of her right hand touched at his throat—not for a pulse, but to touch the the scant inch of skin that showed so that she could best thread her chakra through his system.

His lower leg was bloodied, she saw, the heavy cloth of his pants ripped and torn. Nothing else seemed wrong—ah! Her chakra, as it flowed through his body, found the poison in his bloodstream, an invader within his body.

She needed to cleanse his bloodstream, and quickly. There were two methods—no, there were more than two, but she most _certainly_ didn't have the time or resources needed for any more than two. The first was to administer an antidote—one that she most likely wasn't carrying. And so it left direct removal. And for that, all she needed was skin to skin contact.

From working in Anbu so long, she knew the best way to cut off the chest guard—slice down the seam on one side, cut each strap—and so she had it off within moments. The shirt took even less time, the material tearing easily. Then, after making sure that he was still breathing, she set both her chakra laden hands palm down onto his ribcage.

_When she was younger, Tsunade had taught her how to remove poison from a body using water as a medium. It had worked well—Shizune had understood it, executed it as perfectly as someone just learning it could (meaning somewhat competently and very slowly)--and Shizune had been proud. As had Tsunade. But even as Shizune was smiling over her accomplishment, a thought entered her mind and her smile turned into a thoughtful frown._

_"Tsunade-sensei," she said, looking up with large eyes at her mentor, "what do you do if there' no water?" There was a pause, a hesitation, and Shizune thought that Tsunade might not have understood her. "I mean, what do you do if there's no water around to use? Out on a battlefield or something? Or, what if there's only contaminated water? I can't imagine that a medic would used contaminated water—wouldn't that just be counterproductive? And--"_

_But Tsunade was smiling. "Ah, Shizune, you caught that quickly! It's harder, I'll tell you, to not use water—and by no means used contaminated water!--but it's very possible. You simply have to be very focused and very much in control of your own chakra."_

And she was focused, now, her chakra flooding through the man's veins, searching out the poison. She could only take small bits at a time, only send so much of her chakra into him, but she knew how to work fast and effectively, knew how not to harm the patient with her intruding chakra. She'd seen it happen before, where a medic worsened the condition of the one they were trying to heal due to poor chakra control and lack of concentration. Hell, she'd done it before; sent her own chakra into another's body and suddenly found the man going into shock. Tsunade had been what had saved her that time—Shizune had been so rattled by it that she had jumped back, withdrawing her chakra too rapidly, too sloppily--

She caught up the last of the poison that she could safely remove under the circumstances, caught it up and deposited it onto the ground beside her, far enough away from both her and the man that it wouldn't touch either of them. He was still breathing—good. She checked him again with her chakra; nothing truly critical left. She just had the leg to fix--

"The area's secure," she heard Cat say off to her left. "We've recovered Anbu unit 5 and are tending the wounded. Expect to be returning to base shortly."

Ah. Good. She could spare herself from further chakra usage. The leg wasn't bad—bleeding, but the cuts were shallow. Digging into her medic kit, she removed cloth bandaged, applying the appropriate amount of pressure and wrapping the cloth around the leg.

"He's stable," she said, looking up at the surrounding shinobi. "Ready to be moved."

Cat gave a sharp incline of her head. Shizune looked to her side, to where the other medic on the team had already finished tending the other team members.

Nothing too serious, other than the poison. Good thing she had been there.

_"Nothing too serious," Genma said with an expression on his face that was trying to be a smile, but was only really a pained grimace. "Just poison. The doctor says I'll be fine--"_

_"Just poison?" She wanted to yell, really, but she didn't, just said the words in her normal soft tone of voice. "Just poison?" she said a little louder, her eyes snapping to his. "You could have died."_

_"Yeah, well..." He shrugged, then winced. "Okay, I banged up my shoulder pretty bad, too. But I'm fine. Really. Stop worrying."_

Later, after the mission was over, she stood before the mirror in the Anbu headquarters bathroom, washing her hands thoroughly in the sink. There was no blood on them this time, but that didn't stop her from making sure that her skin was as clean as possible.

Her mask was off lying, laying on the sink's edge, and Shizune looked into the mirror to see her face reflected back at her. She looked tired—not exhausted, no, not that—with shadows gathering under her eyes.

_I need more sleep_, she thought to herself, passing a cold, wet hand over her face and through her short hair. _Lots more sleep_.

The door to the bathroom opened with a small squeak, causing Shizune to look up. The woman from her team earlier—the woman who wore the cat mask—walked in. Her mask was off now, dangling from her hand. She looked to be younger than Shizune by quite a few years, with slanted dark eyes and long dark hair. They were both silent, regarding one another, and the woman stepped to the sink beside her.

"You did well today," the woman said softly, hot water from the sink running over her hands. "I'd read your files, but I hadn't expected you to work quite so quickly."

Shizune allowed herself a small smile. "Thank you."

There was silence again, as though neither woman knew quite what to say. Then, the long haired woman spoke again.

"We weren't introduced properly before," she said, her voice still quiet. "I'm Uzuki Yuugao."

Shizune's stomach dropped just a little. She'd heard the name before, recently. "You're Hayate's...?"

"Yes." Yuugao gave a very small, very sad smile. "I was. And you are his cousin?" Shizune nodded. "I thought so. You both look so similar...he talked about you often. I had...wanted to meet you."

"Oh," said Shizune very softly. There was a sudden twinging in her chest, a pressure behind her eyes. _Don't think about it_. _Don't think about him._ "I...see." She was at a complete lose for what to say. And what could she say? _"I'm sorry I wasn't around to see him when he was alive?" "I'm sorry I disappeared for so long and completely missed the fact that my cousin was going to be married?"_ They sounded completely horrible in her head, and so they didn't make it any further than that.

Yuugao suddenly swiped a hand at her eyes, dashing away tears that there threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry; I have work to finish. It was very nice to finally meet you, Shizune." She tied her mask back onto her face, hiding any and all emotion that was playing over it. Then she nodded to Shizune and left as quickly as she had come.

Shizune bit down on her lower lip, closing her eyes for a moment. Then, certain that she wasn't going to cry, she left the bathroom as well. She had work to do as well; Tsunade would be expecting her soon.

Her stomach, however, had other ideas, telling her quite loudly that she needed to eat. Sighing to herself, she hurried out of the building, slipping into the morning traffic on the streets unnoticed.

It was later than she would have liked when she finally got to Tsunade's office, but short of completely rushing through a small breakfast and running through the streets, she couldn't have managed it faster. And, of course, there just had to be something else that held her up before she could make it inside.

Not that it was an entirely unwanted disruption.

She had made it perhaps halfway up the outside stairwell of the Hokage's building when she looked up to see Genma walking towards her. She smiled up at him, albeit a bit tiredly--after all, she had been working since early in the morning, and healing by use of chakra did take a lot out of a person--and was rather delighted when he smiled back. It was something that she hadn't realized until recently that she had missed. Genma's smile was something that she had always loved when she was younger, but she had near forgotten about it in her years away; the lazy was that one side of his mouth would draw up just a bit more than the other side, with just a glint of white teeth showing between his lips.

"Morning, Shizune," he said, just a bit of a slow drawl to his voice.

"Good morning, Genma." Perhaps her general weariness came through in her words, or perhaps it was something in the way she looked, for Genma's eyes flickered over her face and he gave the slightest of frowns.

"Late night?" he asked, his head turned just a bit to the side. "Or, early morning?"

Shizune gave a short laugh. "Ah, early morning. There's far too much to get done around here; I don't have much time for resting."

"To true," Genma murmured. Then he looked away from her, out over the town. "I'm going to be gone for a while. Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Outer fences patrol, you know." He then surprised her by giving her a rakish grin. "Though I should let you know before I took off." And then he moved past her, raising a hand in goodbye. "See you in a month!"

And left Shizune standing there, feeling just a bit miserable. The last comments stung, because she knew they were very much pointed at her absence from before.

_He must be just as upset with me as everyone else_, she thought inwardly, resuming her climb up the stairs. _I...I suppose I don't blame him...just that that was rather uncalled for right now!_

So, she decided to be annoyed at him for awhile. And then she'd spend some time looking at exactly what she could do to make everyone much less upset with her. And then maybe she'd go talk with Namida and Raidou--unless they were both out on patrol as well--and find out a bit of what had happened in Konoha over the past eight years. Goodness knew that _she_ had gone through a lot in the past eight years; she was certain they all had as well.

And then she was abruptly remind of everything else that she had to deal with as she walked into Tsunade's office and saw the new Hokage surrounded by piles of papers work--and, sitting on the window's ledge, a petite pink-haired girl reading an overly large medical textbook.

She supposed that this was going to be a very long month.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's far too short for an update, and really doesn't do much at all. But you do get a bit from Genma's perspective this time, which hasn't happened before. I suppose it sets up for the next few chapters, which are a bit more transitional in nature. I can't tell you when there will be another chapter--I think it's been proven by now that I'm horrible with keeping a quick update schedule, and I'm currently working on an original novel of my own. I don't plan on abandoning this story, however, so there will be an update. Eventually.

If you see an errors, please point them out to me. I welcome feedback and critique.

And, of course, thank you to everyone who has read this story, to everyone who has reviewed, and to everyone who will still read this, even though it has been four days over a year since I last updated.

Raven


End file.
